Its hard to say that the Hokies ever left being a team I expected to win, what with “seven 10-win seasons in a row” one may say there is nothing for a diehard fan to complain about… But what I believe all Hokies wanted to see is what went down on Saturday: a total dismantling of a team that we should be dismantling as a marque top 25 program.

Logan Thomas looked good, certainly not a game people will look back on as a “break out” but also not a game that will be seen as a total turd either. David Wilson playfully ran through the App. Staters for a total of 162 yards and three touchdowns providing a good sign that we are indeed reloaded in the running game. There were some pretty spectacular catches as well, with Roberts hugging over-the-back-of-the-defender clocking in at #3 on ESPN’s top plays of the day (Bojangle’s got their ACC Network sponsorship worth out of that play alone). But what Hokies game could be complete without some old-fashioned 25 year old Beamer ball?

A blocked kick? F-yeah, even that late in a game it is such a satisfying way to score points.

So now we will head to ECU in week 2. Just how we are playing this many times down at ECU blows my mind, especially since ECU isn’t a walk-in-the-park non-conference team and is a potential trap for the new team if they can’t score as quickly as they did on App. State (we lucked out with a bonehead fumble the first minute of the game - likely a karma for the same mistake we made against JMU last year).

But this is a nice adequate progression in challenges at the same time. Rather than starting the season at World 8-4’s castle we are going through in a linear progression that hopefully will keep the player’s focused on each week and not allow a team like ECU to sneak in while the team may be looking elsewhere in the season. I think Beamer knows that ECU is a worthy opponent and playing on the road is going to test the club. They extended his contract through 2016 for a reason.

It does feel like were back in to the swing of old Hokie Football again though. Here’s to looking forward to next week!

With all that went down (and then up) for Virginia Tech’s football season last season it can be easy to forget that Jayron Hosley was an absolute beast as a sophomore. A good reminder? Check out ESPN’s Sport Science on the wide-spanned interception machine…

Yahoo! Sports, who have become increasingly good at landing big scandals in sports, has planted a whopper of a story on their main website that almost instantaneously spelled “death sentence” for our beloved convict of a football partner, University of Mimai.

Relevant excerpt: “At a cost that Shapiro estimates in the millions of dollars, he said his benefits to athletes included but were not limited to cash, prostitutes, entertainment in his multimillion-dollar homes and yacht, paid trips to high-end restaurants and nightclubs, jewelry, bounties for on-field play (including bounties for injuring opposing players), travel and, on one occasion, an abortion.” Wow, I am not really sure how you can escape that kind of NCAA abuse with just a few fines an apology and post-season ban. This is likely the end.

Now I am all for Miami getting publicly embarrassed and punished for this… If you recall a little rap song that featured at least one U football player and contained explicative-laced lyrics about raping women. That song was initially reported on by a small Miami student’s blog that caught the attention of a sports writer, but the actual song was void from the two articles. It was this Hokie that that reached out to current Miami student DJ that had a copy of the song - which I promptly uploaded to my server and linked to on the student’s blog comment section. That link was passed around more than a 7th floor whore/meat bucket and within 47 hours it had been downloaded over 150k from my server, ultimately crashing it. So if you own that song and the ID tag includes “Miami Football Team” you know where it originated from. But no, I am more concerned with how this will effect Virginia Tech, for instance:

1. Do we reschedule future games if they give the death sentence to U of M?
2. Does this mean ACC will turn to another expansion to get to 12 teams? Can we even have an ACC championship game this season if the U is removed from football contention?
3. Will this ultimately BREAK the ACC? Give us 4 mega conferences? Will Tech leave or stay?

There is undoubtedly many things that need to be sorted out, not the least of which involve Al Golden punching his agent in the mouth. Not having to deal with the obnoxious Miami superfan should be nice for us Hokies, I just wonder what’s going to happen on October 8…

Each year I print out and prominently display the Virginia Tech Hokie Football schedule and keep track as the season progresses — sure it was a rough start in 2010 but I never took it down. Click here and download a printable schedule of the 2011 football season! Hang it up at work and keep track of the season, be sure to put it somewhere everyone can see it, and print it with the work printer - why waste your own ink?

Its like your own little Souvlaki storefront window only you don’t need to dig little graves each week. Lets look for as many W’s as possible down that right-hand side.

You know, a week ago I was writing about FSU in the preseason poll at number 5 and I then began reminiscing about their scum-bucket-never-attended-FSU-self-proclaimed-”wild-redneck”-wearing-a-golf-shirt-douchbagy fans when it occurred to me: I really don’t know what a TRUE Florida State fan is.

Its kind of like Miami fans… I can’t imagine the “true Miami fan” is that airbrushed-RIP-t-shirt-wearing thug that never left Detroit with a big white silhouette of a “U” on his back of his glitter green dented 1995 Lexus SC300… I mean, what the Hell are you? Certainly not a true fan.

I figured I would turn to where everyone turns in a situation like this: Google. Bouncing over to the Google Image Search I typed in “FSU Fan” and got the following result (… and mind you I have not doctored these results and I recommend you click the image in this post to truly spectacle at the results I got.)

“FSU Fan”

Reaction: Right off the bat the Google search engine is curious did you mean “jenn sterger”? That slut? My god she hasn’t been at that school since 1993 - come to think of it, was she ever AT that school or did her tits just get invited to games by filthy rich alumni who are still reaping in on their great-slave-owning-grandfather’s orange futures?

If you look at the pictures almost ALL of them of are of Sterger! I mean, is that really the thing FSU is associated with? 10 years after the fact, a stripper turned sideline reporter whose most famous contribution to society was RECEIVING a picture of Brett Favre’s flaccid cock is the quinesential ”FSU fan.” 

And shit, there are like 20 different pics of her from all kinds of angles (none of which could give a goddamn about the game going on behind her). Other than Sterger you have a couple of glittered up retards, then some more Sterger softcore, and then WOMEN KISSING?! Wait, what? I mean I am all for your school having bragging rights to hot women but unless I missed something I’m pretty sure the female fans at FSU don’t go throat deep in celebration during games. Lastly there is the obligatory highly-photoshopped middle finger baby. So, in essence what we have learned is that FSU fans = Jenn Sterger’s fake tits + 3 gay men with paint on their bodies + Cinemax + a baby. Great, that really cleared it up.

Maybe to be fair I’ll just try Googling “FSU” by itself…

“FSU”

Reaction: Holllllly fuck its her all over again? Jesus people don’t you have any other humans associated with your school? Maybe an astronaut, an actor, a fucking local weatherman?!? And perhaps I missed something in my 17+ years searching for porn on the Internet (or Gopher as it was back in 1992) is “FSU” is some kind of universal search term for titties, Sterger’s titties to be exact? I mean you can just Google her name by itself and practically get the same results! This is honestly pathetic and to the several hundred true FSU fans I feel a bit sorry for you.

So I guess my conclusion is that this pretty much represents FSU fans… well, no, that’s not fair, I guess THIS represents FSU… Hmmm well I guess its all better than the truth, people.

EDIT: Apologies for the run on adjectives - I italicized them for more frustrated reading.

So after several years we have revisited the Dic Tailgate Fantasy Death Pool despite a DNR order.

As for how we will wrap this up, we have decided to declare interim winners but more importantly we will use the ranking of prior winners to declare the draft order for the next Death Pool.

1st place with 16 points: Jenness
2nd place (tie) with 13 points: Swain and Butt
3rd place with 11 points: JP

The rules are a bit different for this pool in that no duplicate selections, once one person drafts a potential death that selection is off the board for others to select. There is also a slight tweaking of the scoring system and the highest ranking team (Jenness > Swain > Butt > Phillips) from the first pool will get first draft picks. Details to come soon but the next round is open to new contestants who want to partake, draft is likely to be conducted via email.

You can now buy seats for ALL 2011 Hokie Pokie Bus trips down to Blacksburg! Make your football plans now and reserve your seats while they are still available.
http://hokiepokiebus.com/trips​.htm

The first preseason NCAA football poll is out and Virginia Tech is smack dab in the middle of the Top 25 at number 13. This isn’t too bad considering some of the projections out there had the Hokies as far back as 19 or 20 although it should be noted that once you get past top dozen or so the rest of the teams kind of run together like dashboard vomit.

The Hokies almost always make it in to the preseason poll (see 2004) and have bounced around from 7th, to 9th, a couple 10 spots, and it seems a handful of 17 slots. This is a good position however as it sets up the Hokies to have a good off-the-radar presence that allows them to sneak up rapidly on the big names as the season goes on (has worked plenty of times for teams like West VA, Ohio State, and Mario Kart Wii drivers who get a bullet).

We hide. We wait for Georgia Tech.

Of particular note is that Florida State is the highest ranked team (5) without a first place vote. Is this the football gods setting up a great potential ACC Championship game? Will Dr. Pepper and Primitive Radio Gods be rewarded for signing on to the game? It will require that both teams stay atop their respective ACC divisions and not eat foot-dick on teams like App. State and Directional Michigan.

Still, to look so far ahead is obviously not a good idea, what with the Alabama, Boise State/JMU, ECU starts we have had in seasons past who can blame a fan for biting their nails at a home opener against Appalachian State? (they’re hot hot ho… nevermind).

The thought of silencing those tomahawk chops for a second straight year sounds wonderful, though we could beat the Seminoles 9000 times in a row and their brainless fans would continue to chop having no idea why they are doing it and no idea what Tallahassee looks like and no idea why they keep siding with the GOP and hold up “I’m Joe the Plumber” signs even though their family take-home is 180k shy of what they consider a “black president’s attempt to rob the wealthy.” It would still be nice to get another win in on them this year as 1999 will never be forgotten… oh wait that kind of waters down that other thing Hokies will never forget, but you know what I mean.

Lets find a way to do it again.

Well okay, maybe the Hokies shouldn’t whine all that much about being left off the 68 team NCAA tournament guest list… or then again, maybe they should.

After liquid shitting the bed against The Shockers down in Blacksburg during the second round of the NIT it seems hard to argue that there was a lot of hindsight regrets from the NCAA selection committee on whether they should have put trust in the Hokies and let them in to the dance. However this is always something to be said for a program when it is losing the will to play in a largely insignificant alcohol-free party for the ugly kids that weren’t invited to prom.

But what may be more telling is that the ACC still has 3 teams (of only 4) still playing in the tournament. In a season that everyone seemed to be saying the ACC was much weaker than in previous years - and certainly not as strong as the mighty Big East- its interesting to see that the ACC has more teams dancing THAN ANY OTHER CONFERENCE. The Big East has had 11 seeds dwindle down to 2 all while losing a top seed in Pittsburgh. While analysts were still wiping St. John’s semen off their upper lip half of the Big East had fallen in upsets.

Would it have been that hard to allow the ACC more teams if they consistently outperform their other conference brethren? Shit, the ACC has WON the tournament with two different teams the past two years and when they felt that 2009’s winner UNC wasn’t worthy of a bid in 2010 what did UNC go and do? Win the NIT.

Simply because the Big East looked big and tough early on doesn’t mean that they were deserving of a whopping eleven seeds - basically negating the 68 team expansion this year. In no way do I think this means that there MUST be a way Virginia Tech is included, but shit - we beat 2 sweet sixteen teams in past couple of weeks – is that worth nothing? Of course we probably DO suck anyway, but next time don’t reward a decent division where no one squad is necessarily dominating by letting everyone in.

I’m with Charles Barkley, the black Charlie Sheen, on this one - the Big East is simply overrated and 3 teams too many from the Big East left VT, Colorado, and Eastern Suffolk District 9 out of the tournament as a result. I wish the best to the remainder of the ACC (and the 2 remaining Virginia schools of 5) in the tournament, but if it ends up being 3 ACC teams in the Final Four I sincerely hope Seth Greenberg sends a steaming pile of the Hokie seniors’ collective shit logs to the selection committee.

It was so close, once again, but this time we can’t go and review to make sure the officials got it right or wrong.

You can add more seeds to the tournament and still the Hokies will find a way to roll off the back of the bubble. The Hokies have become synonymous with bubble disappointment and Coach Seth Greenburg is now a household name in college basketball announcing and analysis for enduring this pain annually (not to mention the razor thin buzzer beater loses, big upsets, and implosions). Clearly losing to Florida State (edit: No we beat those pricks twice) Boston College and Clemson was just too tough of a way to end the regular season.

We know the Hokies beat the #1 seeded Duke Blue Devils, we know Clemson -who is in the tournament- touts its best win as beating VT in that final game of the year, and we know Florida State is in the dance despite falling twice to the Hokies on both ends of the season, but we seem to always forget that the NCAA selection committee simply hates Virginia Tech.

So come on all you sports writers, bring on the press about the Hokies woes, RPI, and how Seth and the boys were snubbed yet again, there should be some good templates in your saved documents folder from 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009… oh fuck this.