So this may conclude the most important question of the Michael Vick Watch: Vick will play in the NFL again? …and it looks certain he will, and he will do it as a Philadelphia Eagle. Have no fear that “the watch” will continue as we will have to keep a close eye on if Mr. Vick will ever takes the field or if he has a relapse in to a doggy murder spree with Josh Hamilton snorting coke off the corpses.

Normally I only cheer for the Eagles the two times a year that they play the Cowboys, but today I support the franchise and their bold decision to place Vick on their roster.

But the Eagles signing Vick really makes sense for a number of reasons:

1. Eagles fans are constantly booing everything anyway. It doesn’t matter if its a beloved icon like Santa Claus, American Idol winners during the National Anthem, or their own players, Eagles fans love to boo and throw D-cells. When Vick trots out on the field the boo-birds will be nothing unusual to Lincoln Financial Field. It may even too hard to tell the difference between the animal lovers and the McNabb haters this Fall, its just accepted as a form of “cheering” for the Eagles.

2. MV is performance that can help Philly win. Assuming Vick will be used in any kind of a backup QB to cripple-destined McNabb, he will bring movement to the pocket that the position has somewhat lost as McNabb has aged. I know that the Redskins are particularly awful against speedy quarterbacks so I am not looking forward to this possibility.

3. MONEY MONEY MONEY! Anyone who says “I’m disgusted with the Eagles and I will show them by boycotting watching their games” is shit-for-brains. Despite attempts by society to make professional football (or any pro sport) some kind of shining example of our country’s integrity and a role model for our children, the National Football League exists for one reason and one reason only: MONEY! Vick is by FAR the most talked about, watched, discussed, googled, protested, you-name-it player in football and it is a gaurantee that ratings skyrocket for Eagles games as fans from inside and outside the sport tune in to see the man who has been the talk of the media for YEARS. Even if Vick is a total bust athletically he will be a boon economically. Just his jersey sales alone (whether they are bought by Philadelphia inner-city fans or by PETA activists to burn in protest) will make up for his salary.

4. Jersey Number ‘7′ is available but it doesn’t have to be as a backup QB. Don’t forget that Vick doesn’t need to be a QB to make a difference, he may be used in some other capacity Devin Hester style to make a difference. He isn’t in much of a position to complain if is platooned other than behind center (or on the bench for that matter).

5. Eagles come out on top in the end. There may be some P.R. backlash right now but the Eagles are in a win/win situation. If Vick performs well and helps the team win then “who cares?” they were smart to give the man a chance -someone had to. And if Vick doesn’t really show the magic he had before the Eagles can put their arms up and say “we tried to give this man a chance, he deserves it, and its what Jesus would have wanted.”

So I think that covers it (although A.S. will tell me that I am completely incorrect about any statistical or analytical aspects of this post in relation to his favorite team), the Eagles made the right choice and it was the right choice for football, professional sports as a whole and the United States of America. Parents, you can expect to find the family Bichon Frise, “Mirabel”, with a 9-volt battery shoved up its ass, drowned in the toilet by week 6.

Unsurprisingly, Michael Vick has been given a conditional reinstatement to the NFL. He can play in the preseason for now, that is if any team takes the PR risk on signing him. There is really no other risk to the situation otherwise… Vick isn’t seeking millions to return to the field and the potential upswing of a 29 year-old former Pro Bowl quarterback on an offense is high even with a two-season hiatus.

Teams that haven’t outright said “no” to adding Vick in response to pressing questions by local press include the New England Patriots, Seattle Seahawks, New Orleans Saints, and Dallas Cowboys. Early in summer, many analysts speculated that the Dolphins, Raiders and 49s would seek to acquire Vick but that ended with all three team saying they would pass on the opportunity regardless of what the NFL decided. However that was prior to the Goodell-blessing, when any olive branch made by a team would have sparked a preemptive war with dog fanatics and morons alike. A good example of this was in April when a New York arena-football league offered to employ Vick for $200/week (contingent on Vick donating $100,000 to a local humane group). That created a media melee ending with the team saying the whole offer was a “joke” — some teams probably aren’t considering Vick a laughing matter at this point.

One team that said they didn’t want Vick because of a potential political and social backlash is the Redskins because of its close proximity to policy pumping DC (not to mention PETA HQ is down the road in Norfolk, VA alongside the biggest Vick supporters). But don’t count the ‘Skins out entirely… nor any team that runs a wild cat offense … nor any team that is lacking in the backup quarterback category.  Hmm, actually before you know it you don’t just have one team who may be looking to add Vick, but you have a group of potential BIDDERS for his service.

It looks like any team Vick joins could be without his services for the first six regular season games under the potential scenario proposed by Roger Goodell, but rest assured someone will take the chance.

Michael Vick’s jail sentence has finally come to an end (at the dismay of those people who value the life of a Siberian Hamster over that of a member of their own family) and league representatives are working on setting up a meeting between Vick and NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, likely to occur within the next few days (hopefully before Big Ben’s rape scandal takes up the commissioner’s day planner).

We have been told that this meeting with Vick could mean the end of the quaterback’s indefinite suspension although Goodell says he needs to be “convinced” that Vick has learned and grown from the experience. Yeah, bullllllshit Roger. Vick could stroll in to Goodell’s office being pulled by a dozen Alaskan sled dogs while wearing a bad newz kennels starter jacket and holding a wooden stake adorned with a dalmatian’s still bleeding head and that turd would find a way to allow Vick back in to the league all the while ensuring they still come out smelling like roses.

Of course Vick will still need to sign with an NFL team if reinstated, that is if any team is batshit crazy enough to sign him, before he is officially back. Goodell could always allow Vick “access” to the league as a free agent but restrict his ability to play in regular season games also. This would allow the NFL to sit back and see just how much controversy and protest gets stirred up over the return of a convicted dog fighting mastermind (moronmind?) to the sport.

We will just have to see what kind of a response Vick gets from the NFL franchises themselves. It has been speculated that even with a two season hiatus Vick is a better choice for quarterback than at least a handful of NFL teams’ current situation so I would expect a few to mull over the PR backlash in exchange for more wins.

Improving records aside, you can bet that if the preseason ratings for Vick’s landing place spike (an NFL or UFL team) the teams that passed on giving him at least a consideration will be feeling some regret.

Rob Dibble doesn’t work in baseball… even though he thinks he does. Once a feared pitcher and part of the Cincinnati Red’s “Nasty Boys” bullpen, Dibble seems to be more akin to participate in childish sandlot spats than doing his job as a baseball commentator for the Washington Nationals. In reality, Rob Dibble only works for the world of Rob Dibble.

Always quick to turn the situation to himself and highlight his career as a professional ballplayer, Dibble has become almost unbearable to listen to. If the conversation isn’t going Dibble’s way he will be the first to let you know that he’s not happy and bitch and moan for at least a few innings– so I am doing the same thing now. I have tried to like Dibble from the first exposure I had to him on Fox Sports. His direct and brash approach was an acceptable spice to a normal baseball coverage recipe, but when you give him 1/2 the spotlight the flavor just burns your nostrils.

I am not alone in this hate campaign either. Ever since Dibble took over for Don Sutton in the commentator’s booth at the start of the 2009 season I have watched as more and more writers have joined in this opinion. Although it is hard to put my finger on the exact reason for my animosity, I think it is a combination of Dibble’s unconvincing sincerity to the Nationals (and not to himself) and the uncontrollable anger that inevitably gets the best of him any time his boat is even remotely rocked. For now, it appears Dibble has settled in to an “understanding” with Bob Carpenter during the Nats’ broadcasts where his co-host knows just to stay clear of any kind of argument (let alone engaging conversation) with his color-man the entire broadcast. Speaking of color-man, cool purple shades Dibbs - I guess you never know when you might need to fight off glare when you are rocketing one past Steve Sax from the broadcast booth.

For me the real breaking point was last week: in perhaps the most disturbing display of his uncontrollable conniption-fits, Dibble got in to with his co-host Jody MacDonald on XM Radio’s The Show after a caller directly asked Dibble if he would have acted differently than Nats Manager Manny Acta in a questionable switch involving slugger Adam Dunn. Dibble was absolutely convinced that the caller was setting him up to second guess the Nats skipper - something he had been in hot water for earlier in the month. Instead of handling the situation like a professional and dismissing the caller as a potential heckler, Dibble ripped in to a calm and collected MacDonald as “not standing up” for his fellow man. Undertones of arrogance drenched Dibble’s microphone as he seemed to liken the situation to an on-field physical attack from an opposing batter who had rushed the mound. MacDonald pleaded with Dibble that the question may have been “legitimate” but Dibbs seemed determined to fester and whine about the caller for much of the show’s remaining hour. Since that afternoon The Show hasn’t seemed the same and I have noticed that MacDonald appears less frequently alongside Dibble. I hope that they aren’t trying to send off MacDonald, the bigger man in the whole situation, the same way they quietly said goodbye to Charlie Steiner (I think both men really connect well with baseball fans).

How did I miss this vote?

I will admit that Dibble is often times critical of the Nationals - and critical to a point that is necessary and refreshing for a team that is struggling to not only win games but also retain fans that may be yearning to hear someone close to the organization admit the club’s faults. I just can’t rationalize why Dibble then goes on the defensive as well, claiming that he is a part of the team and “we” as a “team” are doing “our” best to win and everyone should just back off the negative comments. If I didn’t know any better I would say this bicephalous behavior was the work of a control freak owner like Dan Snider wispering in his earpiece or that its just Dibble kicking and screaming when the situation isn’t focused enough on him.

In the end he may be one of only a select few pitchers to have stuck out 3 men in an inning using only 9 pitches - but it seems to me that all that remains of Rob Dibble is a nasty attitude.

http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/boxscore?gid=290630101

In addition to papelblowing the game, the entire Sox infield (Masterson included) came off the field with only two outs in the 6th and even threw the live ball in to the stands… Trot Nixon is shaking his head.

The Washington Nationals, with the worst record in baseball (as well as the worst team ERA in baseball) took a somewhat decisive step this week by firing pitching coach Randy St. Claire. The file photo on St. Claire screams more struggling door-to-door salesman than a man ready to handle a major league rotation. As pointed out by a much taller friend, St. Claire’s presence bears a striking resemblance to Gill from the Simpsons.

Okay, okay, we all know Vick is out of jail and back in Virginia to serve the remainder of his sentence under home incarceration. Vick has finally been returned to society (sort of) where he can once again enjoy taking private shits and staying up late watching HGTV. Apparently, upon his arrival home, a small vigil of diehard fans congregated outside his home located in Hampton, Va to show support for the former NFL/Hokie great.

Some onlookers hope to see a glimpse of Number 7, others attempt to buy pot, yet another looks hungry

On the day of his release literally thousands of articles and commentary pieces on the ex-con player suddenly popped up online and in newspapers. Presumably these articles were written months ago but only released in the media melee that would only come with his return to freedom. Some articles have speculated on where Vick may eventually play again if reinstated and some have voiced support for giving him a second shot at living a clean and honest life, especially compared to other NFL players with (perhaps worse) legal issues, and of course there are still those luna-batshit-crazy Bichon owners who are calling for Vick to suffer the same fate as his dogs… meaning the Thunderdome? None of them are saying anything new however because we really KNOW NOTHING NEW other than the fact that Vick is out of jail and home alone with continued hopes to return to the NFL.

And while it may be an uncertainty at this moment, I renew my belief that Vick will be back in a NFL uniform by season’s end. If he will be utilized for more than a few snaps a game is yet to be seen - as is whether he can make back the $24 million he needs just to break even with his lengthy list of creditors. With that, I will hold off on my dream that one day Vick will become a Washington Redskin – if no other reason than to give me a new piece-of-shit to watch run around the field. At least it is one that I actually find interesting. I will keep supporting Vick for all the mindblowing plays I witnessed in my time at Virginia Tech, no matter where he ends up professionally … be it on a pro sports team or laying bricks with University Painters.

And who says his athletic talents are only suited for Arena Professional Football? If he is even 75% of the shell of the athlete that he was before all this went down I think he could try his hand at a number of sports, maybe even some 2012 Olympic event which involves dogs and guns (I know they have some wacky ass  shit out there that qualifies as an Olympic event), or maybe… just maybe… nahhh… would a baseball team with a record THAT good benefit from the likes of Michael Vick? Of course they could you idiots… put him in the bullpen.

So the Caps are defying Washington sports status quo and doing well in a post-season and I am thinking “Woo hoo - something to cheer for!” but apparently I should think twice before I try and cheer for my local hockey team. Thanks to craigslist and email anonymity I have had some exposure to the Capitals fan base — and they are a rosy happy bunch.

You see, I have been trying to see a playoff game since the caps got in but I have found it hard to track down tickets at a reasonable price. Looking to not pay huge stubhub or sidewalk markups I decided to put up this message on craigslist…

Little did I know that Caps fans are VERY protective of Verizon center seating and also insanely territorial when it comes to fair weather fans. Rather than the typical craigslist responses from ticket sellers offering links to broker sites or perhaps a fan responding with a fair selling price I recieved these responses from fans who had nothing better to do than hang around craigslist waiting for someone who wanted to buy tickets:

Okay, interesting, that doesn’t really help me much, sir. I suppose I appreciate the passion and the team spirit but can’t really see the point in gloating about owning season tickets.

Then we had:

I guess real fans are also cool enough to write strangers to tell them they are real fans.

Then came this last one, for some reason I just felt like responding because it seemed like the nut case would deliver a good response… and oh how he did. I will admit there is a little white lie about me owning season tickets in there but this guy clearly sits at his computer with hockey gloves on just waiting to throw them to the ground and send a belligerent email response.

I guess that’s hockey fans for you. I don’t even own any red so I can’t say I deserve to be at the game Monday, but I don’t think my iphone belongs up my ass either.

Where was I this weekend? Well I can tell you it wasn’t at Virginia Tech’s Spring Game… No, it was in a place far more red neck than that: Talladega Superspeedway. Talladega, Alabama is a region of the country so poor and so shitkicker that they can’t even afford a proper strip club. That small omission from an otherwise regular southern landscape didn’t stop myself and four other educated men from driving twelve hours to join 200,000 “race fans” in a weekend full of loud cars, free smokless tabacco products, Nickleback playlists, and LSU tailgating tents.

I can’t really say I know what I witnessed the entire weekend, although some of it has been burned in to the back of my retinas never to be spoke of again, but I have been told that at this point I am a fully accreddited NASCAR patron. And likewise I’m not cetain what happens to me next, but I think I am supposed to get a pair of truck balls for my car and find me a woman with a 40 pound vagina bulge.

I am going to spend some time evaluating my life.

Could Michael Vick be another reality TV hit? MV7 himself thinks so. Apparently his $600,000 book deal is more of a television deal. More specifically a television series which will follow Vick as tries to put his life back together in the wake of a dog fighting scandal that cost him everything.Filming is expected to start on July 20, and will follow Vick throughout his day as he seeks to “make amends for his past,” financially and morally.  The series is expecting to cover his attempts to reenter the NFL as well as all the hilarity and hijinks sure to ensue once he starts work at a $10-an-hour construction job. I can’t wait for the first episode when Vick can’t get his cinder blocks to lay right so he electrocutes them, smashes them at the wall, and then drowns the pieces in water.

Producers are shopping the series to shitty cable outlets like Spike TV and Animal Planet and it has been rumored that Vick stands to make more than 600k for his participation in the series… he expects to land the “real” money off his newly discovered pop culture image.