Reading Beamer’s lips after Georgia Tech recovered an onside kick with less than two minutes to go said it all.

The Hokies hopes for a National Championship vanished at the hands of Paul Johnson spread-option offense. The empty trophy case will remain such for at least another year. In some regard it felt like the Hokies had snuck under the velvet rope to the National Championship party after the season opening loss to Alabama and squeezing by Nebraska, but had there been a win over Georgia Tech, as the last ranked opponent the Hokies would face all regular reason, all it would require is cruise control to sneak in to the Rose Bowl Championship game.

Pretty sure our engineers could do a better job of ripping this down

Though I can accept the loss to Georgia Tech, I think its worth pointing out three glaring “bullshit moments” from the game:

1. 4th and 2 Williams rushes for 1 yard? What? Even the announcers said that spot was far off, prompting the comment “The spot of the ball is reviewable” … but nothing happened except Tyrod running off the field for the GT offense to come back on. Sure we forgot all about it after Ryan Williams ran 60+ yards a few plays later after an interception, but that bad spot was only further magnified because what of what you will see below.

2. Inches to go + ????? = Profit. This one was so unexplainable I still don’t know if it even upset me because I don’t even know what rule applies. I understand that you should have the football facing straight up, but why then did the ball not start on its correct side?

Ta daaaaa

I haven’t seen a dead ball move like that since Tiger Woods hung a putt on the edge the 16th at Augusta National. It was a neat trick for the line judge David Blaine, who I heard later pulled out Josh Nesbitt’s eyeballs before clapping them back in place a different color.

3. Don’t you give Stinespring credit. To those of you watching the game on ESPN2 you saw not only saw three minutes of Bud Foster wake surfing but got led  down some idiotic conversation regarding the definition of consistency, or some shit like that, and the announcers pointed out that the Hokies were about as consistent as you can hope for in college football and then showed 4 coaches… head coach, defensive coordinator, strength coach, and lastly offensive coordinator. Yes, you could say Stinespring has been amazingly consistent at keeping our offensive ranking in triple digits, and despite the variation this season, I’m not convinced he has done anything consistent but suck since becoming the OC. And no, he has NOT been in that position for 14 years… pricks.

In the end I guess we did see Tyrod react very well to being down as he efficiently moved the team down the field in the final drive of the game. It was great to feel confident in a quarterback, something I haven’t done since Bryan Randall’s last season. And I’m convinced that had we recovered the onside kick Tyrod would have scores again. And also Ryan Williams, even with the flu, still showed he is going to be a terrific asset for years to come.

That damn option offense just took too much time off the clock (three of the GT drives took 6:21, 6:34 and 7:34)… it may have been even more efficient to try an onside kick every time we had to kickoff. Plus that newer college rule that the clock doesn’t stop when a player goes out-of-bounds (except in the final two minutes of the half) didn’t do us any favors either. Nice try covering the spread Bud, not enough though to save the team from a loss, I will still post the video below as the game’s moment of Zen because you are grandfathered in as totally badass regardless of this game:

In the end if we are going to lose to anyone in ACC (division implications aside) I suppose it might as well be Georgia Tech, they are nice enough fans, they have the word “engineer” in their fight song and and generally speaking haven’t done anything to piss me off. In my ranking of ACC teams I would hate to lose to in football they are dead last:

1st: Florida State and Miami (tie)
3rd: UVA
4th: Maryland
5th: Clemson
6th: Boston College
7th: UNC
8th: Duke
9th: Wake Forrest
10th: NC State
11th: Georgia Tech

So savor the win Yellow Jackets - we owe you anyway for last year when you beat Miami to let us back in to the ACC Championship game - and at least now I can stop shitting kittens over staying perfect for the rest of the season.

Well here we are at Number 4 after a great win over Boston College in which the team really clicked on all sides of the ball.

The first half against Boston College (which is all I stayed for once it was 34-0 and my stomach craved rail) was a clear example of how good our team can be. Tyrod was able to scramble around the field and make some great passes, the defense held Boston College to NEGATIVE yardage (if you take out the last play of the half), and the kicking game was much improved. There is no doubt we have athletic talent on the field but until Boston College it was rare to see it all work together as a productive football team.

So what has changed? Have we just gradually improved? Did we secretly fire Stinespring? Maybe losing early and having our hopes crushed, even if temporarily, was what the team needed mentally? Roth interviewed Stinesuck on the radio as I drove down to Blacksburg and he said that Tyrod Taylor has made a transformation over the past few weeks and has really been responding well and reacting to the plays much more efficiently — that, or they just cut the feed from Bryan’s booth and redirected it to the livestock farm behind Fox Ridge.

Either way its a good sign as we head in to a challenging game against Georgia Tech. The “Other” Tech has just come off a win against FSU (which has become as impressive as beating the bat in the first level of Castlevania) but we know that GT always gets pumped when the Hokies come in to town. Whether it be last minute come from behind victories for VT, stolen jerseys, or simply engineering bragging rights, the jackets definitely have had it out for VT in recent years.

GT is a very productive offense, which has become a VT trademark this season as well, but their defense is hardly a match compared to what Bud Foster puts on the field. The hope here is that the Hokies keep up their high scoring streak but more importantly put a damper on the Jackets big yardage average by showing off what the better Tech does best. And not to get ahead of ourselves but this may be the last game Virginia Tech plays against a ranked opponent barring a potential ACC Championship game against a break out Atlantic Division team and sitting at number four with one loss we want to make sure we leave little doubt that anyone standing behind us in the polls has a right to cut in line.

Score Prediction: Virginia Tech 41, Georgia Tech 21

The Hokies were singing in the rain on Saturday as they dominated and downsized the leapfrogging #9 Miami Hurricanes down at Lane.

The final score of 31-7 may have seemed familiar also - that’s because it was the same tally as when VT spanked away the National Championship dreams of a #2 Miami team back in 2003. Strangely enough Miami offensive tackle Jason Fox apparently missed the final score as he said after the game “In all reality, I don’t think they’re a better team than us,” Fox said. “I just think they played better than us.” Uhh meaning what, Mr. Fox? Face it, the U sucks and Tech beat you down in a solid flex of our ACC muscles.

Tyrod made some good decisions and kept plays alive while delivering balls in to narrow spots. Ryan Williams rushed for 150 yards with 2 touchdowns, meaning he has rushed for more than 100 yards in three consecutive games and now holds a 123-yard rush average per game (which ranks sixth nationally) and gives him 48 total points on the year (making him tied for fifth in scoring). No need to be worried about a Hokies offense without Evans with this kind of performance. Even that bitch Heather Dinich knows to show some respect after this week.

And I know this chick has respect…

…seriously, what the Hell is that thing? Whatever it is ESPN loved showing its anguish again and again and again.

So now we play Duke.

Don’t forget we have an even bigger target on our back with each ACC team stadium we invade so no game can be overlooked, then again we aren’t UVA so I expect we win against the Blue Devils.

Score Prediction: Virginia Tech 24, Duke 6

You may have heard the “swagger is back” for Miami football this season but let’s not let things go to the seventh floor just yet. Yes, Miami is undefeated (so is Clemson), they appeared to completely own Georgia Tech, and they have a new offensive coordinator (novel concept) who has clearly got the offense clicking… but is this finally the mature product of coach Randy Shannon (13-13 career as head coach) or something else.

We will find out if the U is for real this Saturday when #11 Virginia Tech hosts a leap frogging #9 Miami in front of a home crowd and ESPN Gameday some Kroger sponsored tailgate.

Some things to consider for the game:

1. Despite Virginia Tech’s appearance of stout defense this season, they have allowed 200+ yards twice already this season, something you can’t say about Foster’s handiwork for the past three years up to this season and Miami has been running the ball very effectively thus far in 2009. The most yardage is gained in first down plays - look for Tech to adjust this on Saturday or suffer again in the total rush yards allowed column.

2. Two starting defensive lineman for Miami will be incarcerated out for the game. For a young team like Miami this can be a significant change to a formula that has been trying to click for a few seasons now. We need to exploit this as much as we can and hope this helps our offense make improvements this week. Look for big runs through a broken down Miami line.

3.  Bud Foster said Miami’s offense has more overall speed than Alabama and Nebraska. Shit. They lead the conference in total offense. Double shit. We need to again rely on Bud Foster and our defense by shutting down the opponent because we have no idea what to expect from the O. Same old triple shit.

4. In the Washington Post on Tuesday, Stinespring was quoted as saying “I don’t think we played as well” about the Nebraska game and that the Hokies did not “play very well for whatsoever reason” — he later had the whole team watch tape to try and identify the problem. WHAT STINESPRING!? You don’t even have a CLUE what is wrong with the offense? Thats your f’ing job! “Whatsoever reason” is not even close to acceptable. Expect him to learn NOTHING from last week as a result. Let’s hope the team has been passing notes to one another during movie time.

We can consider all these things and many more, but in the end Tech is an underdog (2.5 - 3 points) according to people who get paid to predict the outcome of college football games. This is the kind of game in which Tech likes to shine at home and if we get a couple quick stops of their defense we may be able to rip the young swagger out from underneath the Canes. I see a need for some big turnovers to overcome Stinespring’s shortcomings, nothing new there, but also a steady control of the clock. Even if our offense isn’t productive we need to avoid fast 3-and-out possessions that will force our D back on the field against a speedy Miami offense.

Remember, this is our ACC opener and Miami already has a 2 game lead on us in the Coastal division. We need this game to stay relevant not only for the national picture but also for our conference play.

“If them hoes only knew… they are gunna get mutted by our whole damn crew.” Get loud Lane.

Score Prediction: Virginia Tech 28, Miami 14

The Nebraska VT left me with same feeling as the Days Inn Christiansburg.

It started off nice (free internet, promising lobby, buy one get one free dixie cavern coupons) but once inside my room things looked like real dog shit - the TV couldn’t show the top six inches of the screen, there were absolutely no towels, big slash down the middle of one of the fabric chairs in the room, and the clock displayed illogical digits such as “hO:IL”. It was the hospitality equivalent of our offense on Saturday — but really the Days Inn was all I deserved and likewise a 16-15 victory is all we deserved after the stain our offense left on the field.

Of course the ending of the game will go down in Hokie lore as one of the greatest home finishes, but those of us who watched every snap will know the game was anything but spectacular. Stinestabmyselfintheeye once again proved his inability to prepare for big games and call diverse plays. The opening drive (fueled mainly by a special teams return) may have been a promising start but everything thereafter was a three and out headshake. Horrible play call decisions and failed executions had a few Husker fans near me laughing out “we love this guy Stinespring, he really helps us win games.”

Then of course there was the final drive… but with only “U0:5L” left on the clock Stinespring was effectively removed from his role as O.C. … Down by 5 with less than 1:30 to go you don’t play patty-cake-horse-crap football like he had been calling all game, you go big and choose the Madden 2003 equivalent of “Hot Route” and doing it won the game. That’s exactly what we did, without any help from Bryan Stinespring.

I couldn’t help but feel a little bit dirty after the game ended. Exhausted, pacing back and forth with hands shaking, I felt like I had done something wrong or perhaps I had forgotten that I left an old relative sitting in the rain at a bus stop. I doubt the feeling would be as pronounced if we won games in that fashion more often but really we aren’t a last drive comeback team (sure we all remember the Miracle in Morgantown but that was 10 years ago). Don’t get me wrong, I’ll happily take the “W” but I know we have a lot to fix between now and Saturday when #9 Miami rolls in to town with signs that their swagger has returned.

I still have full faith in the team. Our defense continues to perform beyond expectations and the fans have shown that we have the best 12th (and maybe 13th) man in college football but we will need Tyrod to show some improvement and perhaps the best start would be if we can cut the line from Stinespring’s play calling booth to the field.

I suppose in the end we left the field on a high note… so Go Hokies! - great win - now let’s get on with the ACC.

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I mean, at least they made the SportsCenter opening highlight reel…

Well here we are 0-1 and still hungover from Saturday’s loss to Alabama. The Hokies may have been dethroned from the top 10 but that doesn’t count them out in any way whatsoever. Its time now for the Hokies to regain focus, learn and move on with the season and ACC play.

And what better way to get things started at Lane than a nice Conference USA opponent like Marshall? Consider this to be the 50cc Mushroom Cup race of the season - its a great way to build some confidence and remind our team that we are capable and ready for a higher level of play. That’s not to say we should ignore Marshall, they did come of a win last week and have more talent than the last time VT played them… But we really can use this as a “revenge game” to fix our shitty play calling (diversify Stinespring, diversify) and silly mistakes on the field.

I’m not going to pretend to know anything about the Thundering Herd - you can go to TechSideline for an analysis that actually examines how they match up against the Hokies. All I do know is this is the easiest game of the year and we NEED to use it to its fullest potential. We should be renaming the Hokies to the Bufflekills by the end of the first half.

I want demand to see polished performance, smart play calling, and effective use of our RUNNING quarterback on Saturday. Last week, Foster and Beamer did what they have done consistently year after year (produce a great defensive performance and well… lose to a top 10 team, respectively, sorry but Wilbon does have a point) but unlike our consistent O.C. they DID DO WELL in preparing their side of the game - but Stinesprainintheass didn’t do his homework,  stunk it up as if we have ZERO talent on the field, and did nothing remotely interesting with our offense after we waited all off season with our breath held hoping for a change. I want to see change this week in a game we almost definitely should win. If you are scared to take a chance in this game then don’t even put on a headset for the rest of the year. Just let our guys go out and call one of 4 Tecmo Bowl plays from the huddle all season.

We have talent and a great team this year (we scared Alabama fans for 3 quarters) and Marshall should be used to address coaching and game play flaws from last week as we get ready to take on Nebraska and our ACC opener against a Miami team that looked pretty scary on Monday night.

Score Prediction: Virginia Tech 34, Marshall 12

Okay, its here… the start of a new football season, one of the biggest games in VT history, a BCS caliber kickoff game between two top 10 teams, everybody gets laid, free hat, etc, etc…

Virginia Tech starts the season with a huge target on their back with a #7 preseason rank. The team has a chance to address the lofty rank and quiet would-be ACC naysayers this Saturday night when they take on Alabama at the Georgia Dome in Atlanta. The scenario may seem oddly familiar since this is the same stage in which an over-hyped Clemson team fell to Alabama at the start of season last year, but this year there is a new cast representing our conference and the stakes seem much more real as both teams are ranked higher than Clemson’s 2008 preseason rank of 9th place (Alabama was 24th).

Breaking down the game, USA Today shows a spread favoring Alabama by 6.5 points (a 1.5 point jump from the opening line when we had a healthy Darren Evans on the roster) with an over/under of 38. These are some pretty big number considering we are dealing with two very strong defenses between the two schools.

Analysts who believe Alabama will have the edge probably think that Tyrod Taylor and his supporting cast will have a tough time moving the ball down the field against such a strong defense. In response, let’s not ignore the fact that Alabama was less than spectacular at holding back Utah in their BCS bowl game at the end of last season. Granted our offense is not as potent as Utah’s “score happy and procreate later” style of play, but in front of a crowd of screaming ‘Bama alumni and one super-extended Mormon family, the Utes managed to score 21 unanswered points in the first quarter and go on to win handily against a favored team.

Only the Jonas Brothers were able to fill the Superdome with more screaming preteens

To win, the Hokies need to make a crimson turd out of Alabama’s quarterback Greg McElroy and make sure that any balls that do make in to air come amidst heavy pressure. If the new QB can’t get in to a rhythm with his receivers it will hopefully allow VT to create some turnovers and score in the fashion we do best. As for offense, perhaps losing Evans has a silver lining for this game… Evans, who was coming off an MVP performance in the Orange Bowl, was probably at the top of most of Capt. Predictable’s (Stinespring) play call charts. Since Alabama has a very strong front seven we may have saved a few 3-and-out drives by avoiding the “run up the middle and its gotta work” mentality. With a good mixture of plays that address the running game shuffle and that utilize Tyrod’s athletic ability to move around and down the field with his arm and legs we may be able to keep Alabama’s defense from locking in.

Alabama recently extended Nick Saban’s contract until 2090 when he is expected to coach from a bright red coffin adorned with a wireless headset.  His mind may be thinking long term at this point, he has already mentioned how important this game is to ensure his National Championship path. More importantly his team may think that an ACC opener is a walk in the park after last year’s pillow fight with Clemson. It is a Clemson team that also may have some doubt after looking like a distant SEC second when they lost to Utah back in January. Hopefully these things combine to offset the team’s ability to really prepare for what might as well be a BCS bowl game. The momentum from Virginia Tech’s bowl win carries over while the hangover lingers just another week for the Crimson Tide and the Hokies start off the season 1-0.

Score Prediction: Virginia Tech 24, Alabama 14

So this may conclude the most important question of the Michael Vick Watch: Vick will play in the NFL again? …and it looks certain he will, and he will do it as a Philadelphia Eagle. Have no fear that “the watch” will continue as we will have to keep a close eye on if Mr. Vick will ever takes the field or if he has a relapse in to a doggy murder spree with Josh Hamilton snorting coke off the corpses.

Normally I only cheer for the Eagles the two times a year that they play the Cowboys, but today I support the franchise and their bold decision to place Vick on their roster.

But the Eagles signing Vick really makes sense for a number of reasons:

1. Eagles fans are constantly booing everything anyway. It doesn’t matter if its a beloved icon like Santa Claus, American Idol winners during the National Anthem, or their own players, Eagles fans love to boo and throw D-cells. When Vick trots out on the field the boo-birds will be nothing unusual to Lincoln Financial Field. It may even too hard to tell the difference between the animal lovers and the McNabb haters this Fall, its just accepted as a form of “cheering” for the Eagles.

2. MV is performance that can help Philly win. Assuming Vick will be used in any kind of a backup QB to cripple-destined McNabb, he will bring movement to the pocket that the position has somewhat lost as McNabb has aged. I know that the Redskins are particularly awful against speedy quarterbacks so I am not looking forward to this possibility.

3. MONEY MONEY MONEY! Anyone who says “I’m disgusted with the Eagles and I will show them by boycotting watching their games” is shit-for-brains. Despite attempts by society to make professional football (or any pro sport) some kind of shining example of our country’s integrity and a role model for our children, the National Football League exists for one reason and one reason only: MONEY! Vick is by FAR the most talked about, watched, discussed, googled, protested, you-name-it player in football and it is a gaurantee that ratings skyrocket for Eagles games as fans from inside and outside the sport tune in to see the man who has been the talk of the media for YEARS. Even if Vick is a total bust athletically he will be a boon economically. Just his jersey sales alone (whether they are bought by Philadelphia inner-city fans or by PETA activists to burn in protest) will make up for his salary.

4. Jersey Number ‘7′ is available but it doesn’t have to be as a backup QB. Don’t forget that Vick doesn’t need to be a QB to make a difference, he may be used in some other capacity Devin Hester style to make a difference. He isn’t in much of a position to complain if is platooned other than behind center (or on the bench for that matter).

5. Eagles come out on top in the end. There may be some P.R. backlash right now but the Eagles are in a win/win situation. If Vick performs well and helps the team win then “who cares?” they were smart to give the man a chance -someone had to. And if Vick doesn’t really show the magic he had before the Eagles can put their arms up and say “we tried to give this man a chance, he deserves it, and its what Jesus would have wanted.”

So I think that covers it (although A.S. will tell me that I am completely incorrect about any statistical or analytical aspects of this post in relation to his favorite team), the Eagles made the right choice and it was the right choice for football, professional sports as a whole and the United States of America. Parents, you can expect to find the family Bichon Frise, “Mirabel”, with a 9-volt battery shoved up its ass, drowned in the toilet by week 6.