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Under The Hokie Christmas Tree

Posted on Thursday 24 December 2009

Every year I like to put down my holiday wish list for the upcoming year as it relates to Virginia Tech athletics. This year the list looks pretty similar to years’ past… I guess some things are just worth the wait:

chic_fil.jpg A Peach Bowl Win: Even without the assistance of Stephan Virgil I still have a decent amount of confidence heading in to our New Years Eve bowl game against Tennessee (but nothing is certain). The game is significant - mainly because the ACC needs to show some power against the dominant SEC and to keep our 10-win season streak going, but I also want a win for those die-hard Hokie fans that may be returning to Atlanta for a third time in four months after seeing the team lose on their first two attempts. Stocking stuffer: Finishing the season with a top 10 ranking.
bracket_gift.jpg A trip to the NCAA Tournament: Sitting 10-1 things are looking favorable for the Hokie Bball team. Strangely though this is something I ask for every year and never seem to get. Perhaps the price is low enough this year and I have been an extra special Hokie so I’ll finally get it under the tree. On the horizon are two tough games for the team: a game against a one-loss Seton Hall squad that shares a common loss with VT (Temple) on January 3rd, and the ACC opener against UNC in Chapel Hill one week later. Stocking stuffer: Delaney winning the 2010 Bob Cousy Award.
fedex_jeff.jpg October 2, 2010: The date that the Hokies take on Boise State at FedExField can’t come soon enough. To anyone who attended the USC FedEx Game several years back you know just how incredible it is to go to a game in Washington DC’s backyard with 90K+ Hokies (sure there will be a few fans from Boise State - but don’t count on them making much of a dent on third downs). Stocking stuffer: Is it too soon to start beating the BCS Championship drum? Pa ra pa pa pum.
The Last Good Condo at “Legends”: So this may be my “Daddy I want a Pony!” gift but there is only one condo left on the top floor of the soon-to-be-built-but-probably-never-will condo complex located in the shadows of Lane Stadium. It features a balcony, one bedroom, and is a much better location than “The Colosseum” project down 460. In a world where money is no object I would love to rain foamy Natty Light shotgun spray down 4 stories before a game with my friends on a balcony. However, if the gameday attitude of Platinum-Diamond-Encrusted-Cock status Hokie Alum are any indication of how your neighbors would be, expect to have the cops called perpetually and banging on the walls if you cheer loudly, or even stand up, at any point while living in the condo. Stocking stuffer: Returning to Hunter’s Ridge (Phase I) for a semester.

Good thing the game isn’t on Sunday

Posted on Sunday 6 December 2009

peach_bowl_logo.pngThe Hokies are heading back to Atlanta for the Chic-Fil-E Bowl on New Year’s Eve. Note that the “Peach” part of the bowl name has been officially dropped, but we all know it’s the fucking Peach Bowl.
The Peach bowl pairing (like almost all bowl games) is about making as much money as possible (and in the Peach bowl’s case following the contract defined rules of which conferences they can take … ACC and SEC) but that aside I can see a lot coming from the VT/Tenn game:

  1. They have been trying to get VT/Tenn to play an invitational +1 game at Bristol Motor Speedway for years and this may bring it one step closer to reality.
  2. VT is happier to return to Atlanta when the alternative is that partial-birth abortion of a city, Jacksonville. Despite losing two times already in Atlanta this year alone, going to the Gator Bowl would feel more like a punishment than anything. Besides it will be right for FSU and Bowden’s swan song to be at home in their home state of Florida.
  3. The argument is that the SEC’s mediocre can beat up on the ACC’s best (see GT/UGA or Clemson/USC) but this will be a good chance to test that theory when the Hokies try to extend their 10-win season streak.
  4. Tenn is rebuilding and taking on a great team like Virginia Tech who is coming off a BCS domination over Cinci last bowl season plays favorably for viewers outside of the teams’ fanbases. I’m sure Tennessee is excited for the chance to get their team back in the limelight, regardless of the outcome.
  5. VT last played Georgia recently in the Peach bowl so a rematch might not be as profitable or exciting for fans - myself included - and I’d rather play Tennessee than LSU or one of the even “dumber” SEC schools.

Side note: I’m very disappointed that TCU will be playing Boise State in the Fiesta Bowl. I really wanted to see the David and Goliath thing play out against a major conference team like Florida. And apparently there was actual discussions of taking Virginia Tech OVER Cinci or Boise State for the last couple of bowl selections. As a Hokie fan I would have been very happy to see the BCS selection choose Virginia Tech over Boise State but I couldn’t straight-face call it fair.

Thanks for the reminder USA Today

Posted on Friday 4 December 2009

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Not this year

Posted on Monday 30 November 2009

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Don’t dump freezing liquid on Uncle Frank, we need him to live another 39 years.
…. And what exactly are we celebrating again? Well I’ll tell you.

For only the second time since joining the ACC the Hokies will not be playing in an end of the season conference title game. However looking back now that we are at the end of the regular season it is important to note that the team did manage to make it a decent season:

  • VT was ranked consecutively in the AP top 25 all season
  • VT played the 7th hardest schedule of all 119 FBS teams
  • The team uprooted Miami 37-10 (again)
  • Previously untested and relatively unknown RB Ryan Williams rushed for 1538 yards (avg 5.7 yards a carry) and 19 touchdowns in relief of Evans who will be back next season
  • Tyrod has matured in to a quarteback I feel “safe” with
  • VT is the highest ranked 3 loss team and has a chance to continue the 10-win streak with a bowl game victory
  • Our out of conference games included a team playing for a National Championship slot with Alabama, a Nebraska team playing Texas in the Big 12 Championship, a 8 win ECU team, and even a .500 Marshall team

Tech did put an explanation point on an otherwise down season with Saturday’s rout of UVA. Its always a satisfying Thanksgiving treat to know we retain the commonwealth cup another year. After the game this year however Al Groh packed up his office and said farewell to the head coaching position. He did manage to leave behind a pretty badass goodbye speech. As Hokie fans we will miss having him as the UVA coach only because things went so well against him while he was there.

yuppie_scum.jpgThis year’s woefully underachieving Cavalier team didn’t prevent the UVScum alumni from coming out to the game however. I have heard scalping horror stories from friends. One fan in search of tickets came upon a blue sweatered and creme blazer wearing DB who said “check out my seats - they are awesome” holding up some obnoxiously large and foil stamped box seats. The VT fan said he didn’t care where they were and just wanted to get in and so UVADB responded “well I’m not going in, you can buy them” the Hokie said okay and got through an ear to ear grin “for $800!… Which I know you can’t afford!” and then put his arm around his smug wife and pranced off, farting Tofurkey leftovers. In an unrelated event, another guy told a hokie fan if he would clear away some of his tailgating trash he would sell his ticket. He then began pointing out the difference in quality of automobiles between Tech and UVA fans to his entire tailgate. Apparently now we are counting minor degrees in Old Money in the UVA salary comparisons. But now I am off topic…

Anyway, it may not have been the best season but it could have been far worse given the injury to Evans and the first game loss to Alabama. As fans we have come to expect a lot of our beloved Hokies - and that is a good thing - it is a character trait all winning football programs possess and the kind of attitude that will ensure next year is even better than this - which again, wasn’t all that bad after all.

Let’s hope the Peach Bowl only adds more reason to look back on 2009 with a smile.

Some Things Change for the…

Posted on Monday 23 November 2009

Beating NC State solidly was a change I didn’t expect. The Wolfpack is a team that clemsonfight.jpgalways seems to give the Hokies trouble. Perhaps its a sign something is changing in the ACC. After all Clemson appears as though they could be BCS bound in two weeks time and four teams in the Coastal division alone are ranked.

But that’s not all, the Hokies just might be on track to becoming a defensive AND offensive team. In the past two weeks individual players have really started to click on all sides of the field. Tyrod has had his personal records broken, Williams continues to make a case for the best running back in the ACC while rewriting freshman Hokie record books, and Cody Grimm is popping out so many fumbles you’d think he was sneaking extra footballs on the field. The most frustrating thing about the end of the season success is that it doesn’t carry us anywhere better than the Peach Bowl.

resized_1.jpgN.C. State came into the game averaging 32.6 points per game, second in the ACC, but the Hokies held the team to 10 points and for first three quarters in which scoring was our goal we played with a sense of urgency I haven’t seen in a long time. Granted I only watched the first half thanks to the new Mario Bros game, but I’ll dig up the replay at some point.

If we keep this up we should have our 9th win of the season this Saturday against UVA. UVA is basically playing for the same reasons as VT in this match — one last thrill before the end of the season but as in year’s past I think they will keep their wine corked and bowties prim and proper and walk away with a big fat L.

Eat your turkey and cheer for the Hokies. Score Prediction: Virginia Tech 36, UVGhey 7.

This Bud’s is not for you

Posted on Thursday 12 November 2009

ph2009111126802.jpgApologies in advance for my reference to a 1985 Budweiser slogan. According to a number of news outlets, Bud Foster is once again expressing interest in head coaching positions outside of Blacksburg.

In referring to an opening at Conference USA’s Memphis program Bud Foster said “That might be a job I might be interested in, I think there’s a lot of things that are attractive about it.” Well, I might be shitting myself, Bud.

Foster showed interest in head coaching jobs at Clemson and NC State last year which ultimately didn’t pan out but there is more of a connection to Memphis for Bud given his relationship to current athletic staff and his high school roots in Illinois. For now however there hasn’t been a formal announcement by Memphis that they are considering Foster.

Though Bud has shown he is mortal when it comes to recreating dominating defenses this season, a momentary decline in his otherwise stellar record, it doesn’t seem as though his attitude is any different than it was last year. He is eager to be a head coach and will consider just about any opportunity that will allow him to accomplish that goal. It doesn’t sound as though Weaver/Beamer did much this season to anchor our Defensive Coordinator to Virginia Tech and its only a matter of time before a school decides he is the right fit and pulls him away from Lane Stadium.

Translation to all of this: “Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shi…”

Its the most wonderful time…

Posted on Tuesday 10 November 2009

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Oh boy, its that time of the year again! This Saturday the Hokies get to travel in to College Park to take on Maryland. Its like the day you lose an hour of sleep thanks to daylight savings - its a necessary evil but it must be done. Now don’t get me wrong, I can’t think of a more enjoyable Saturday afternoon than going to a football game with 51,000 screaming Jersey douch smear rejects of SUNY-Plattsburgh who are spitting in my face that they will make my mother air-tight as they are flash shockers from behind the ultraviolet safety of their aviator sunglasses.

But you know, something always makes me want to crush the living shit out of Maryland, I can’t quite figure out what it is. Perhaps its that I don’t like that there is even a conversation happening that Maryland/VT should be considered a “rivalry” - face it, Maryland is about as significant to Virginia Tech as a trip see old ass relatives to make sure they smile once more before dying somewhere in upstate New York.
… Which is why it makes this season’s match-up all that more concerning…

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we must crush them

If this season has showed us anything up to this point its that we have found a great way of playing down to our competition.  Sure, we beat ECU on Thursday Night Football and the broadcasters highlighted our defensive power in the red zone (mind you they gave just as much attention to a cereal based snack created by Coach Holtz’ wife called “Pirate Treasure Munch”) and seemed content to fluff Tyrod’s balls during the entire game but remember we only mustered 16 points in a game in which Ryan Williams was setting season-high rushing numbers. This has to improve. In time for what you ask? Well I’ll be damned if after a season that began with legitimate mention of the words “National Championship” we have our throat stomped in by some shit team like Maryland.

The ONLY team Maryland has BEAT this entire season is Clemson (who clearly had someone personally make death threats to all those who are voting in the AP because somehow that turd on wheels is in the top 25). Sure, you COULD claim that Maryland also beat JMU… but to take your home opener in to overtime against a CAA school with a losing record is about as much of a win as eating Jimmy John’s subs and not shitting blood.

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And we do have some new snazzy uniforms thanks to Nike (I personally like the gloves). But don’t think for a second that these slick new threads will make the play calling any different, or magically erase our love for 3-and-outs, or stop us from jerking each other off as we sputter and fail to score at first and goal from the five. This team has run out of time to “find itself” in 2009 and at this point we are playing for confidence and experience heading in to the 2010 season and with it a renewed shot at the ACC title and beyond.

So here we are, going up against a team that historically we are about .500 against (15-14 all time), who’s coach has given up more on his team than he has portion control, and a team who’s stupid shitty mascot who holds a big M to his chest to let us all know that M stands for “rapist cock whistles… Uh… Mmm-hmm” and I can’t help but fear what could happen.

In sum, we need to win this game because we have plenty to lose against an opponent which we horrible outmatch on paper and should equally outmatch on the field. This is the home stretch of three games before we head in to the bowl season (oh boy, I can’t wait to see if its the tire bowl or blooming onion bowl) and we still have a shot at holding our heads in the air with a 10-win season.

Let’s not let up now Hokies, not against this stain of a team.

Score Prediction: Virginia Tech 24, Maryland 0 

GT… er… GT & UNC Hangover

Posted on Sunday 1 November 2009

Some thoughts as we look back at a team that two games ago was ranked Number 4 and now stand to be out of the top 25 when the latest polls come out later today.

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The defense may not be up to snuff from year’s past but it is not the reason we lost to UNC. Though UNC was able to fire off too many passes over the middle in key third down situations, Foster can have a pass as they did hold the Tarheels to only a touchdown per half.

Tyrod Taylor looked like last year’s Tyrod Taylor, not the new and (most) improved quarterback in college football. His indecisiveness once again allowed a speedy defensive line to swallow up the pocket and collapse the play.

Adding to the TT problem was good ol’ Stinespring. Its not even that Stiney calls the wrong plays its that his plays are so predictable. After talking to friends who watched the game on TV, apparently co-announcer Jesse Palmer went through a few series in a row calling every offensive play prior to the snap to perfection. If that dopey Canadian can do it I am sure every defensive coordinator in the ACC can do it.

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He can do it … so can Duke

Lastly, and perhaps symbolized by the nosediving paper airplanes from the student section during the second half, we build ourselves up too high and so we fall too hard when we fail. Though I am guilty of encouraging the over-optimistic preseason hype, we need to let our annual hopes of a National Championship pass. We are not a constant contender for the title game and we need to play as such. There is nothing emptycase.jpgwrong with being a team that focuses on winning first the division, then the conference championship, and then a resulting bowl game. We can wait for the perfect storm to make a potential national championship season no need to force ourselves and set up emotional failure every time our perfect season is spoiled. It seems like we start each season with that sign that reads “this space reserved for a National Championship trophy” hanging around our necks and its really hard to rebound when we realize that’s not a reality.

Don’t get me wrong, any GOOD team has a shot at the National Championship but we aren’t built the same as the USC, Texas, and Floridas of the league and we need to remember that. Georgia Tech is running a gimmick offense and they have a National Championship trophy and at this point it looks like they took the right approach to winning the ACC this year.

Our last hope is Duke

Posted on Saturday 24 October 2009

With Miami’s overtime loss to Clemson its now a two horse race in the Coastal division. Virginia Tech can do its part by winning out against their remaining ACC opponents, but that won’t be enough to get to the championship game.

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Yes… Its cool you got student tickets for the basketball season

Georgia Tech holds the tie breaker against VT and with only two games to go for the Yellow Jackets the Hokies can only hope for an upset. Those two games? Wake Forrest and Duke. Considering Wake Forrest just lost to Navy, I don’t want to waste any time talking about those shit stains. However, Duke put up a decent fight against VT and just beat Maryland today.

Its not outrageous to think Duke could cause the upset. Georgia Tech is an unorthodox offense and sometimes its the least established defense that can adjust. UVA did an okay job with their 4-3 but ultimately fell victim to the same long drives that crushed Tech last week. I think it’s possible that Duke will be this seasons Georgia Tech (as in a team that upsets the Coastal leader to help VT). And keep in mind GT will be busy worrying about their big rivalry game against University of Georgia… may be the perfect time for some Blue Devil magic.

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Duke… you are the Hokies only hope.

BS ‘N ATL

Posted on Sunday 18 October 2009

Reading Beamer’s lips after Georgia Tech recovered an onside kick with less than two minutes to go said it all.

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The Hokies hopes for a National Championship vanished at the hands of Paul Johnson spread-option offense. The empty trophy case will remain such for at least another year. In some regard it felt like the Hokies had snuck under the velvet rope to the National Championship party after the season opening loss to Alabama and squeezing by Nebraska, but had there been a win over Georgia Tech, as the last ranked opponent the Hokies would face all regular reason, all it would require is cruise control to sneak in to the Rose Bowl Championship game.

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Pretty sure our engineers could do a better job of ripping this down

Though I can accept the loss to Georgia Tech, I think its worth pointing out three glaring “bullshit moments” from the game:

1. 4th and 2 Williams rushes for 1 yard? What? Even the announcers said that spot was far off, prompting the comment “The spot of the ball is reviewable” … but nothing happened except Tyrod running off the field for the GT offense to come back on. Sure we forgot all about it after Ryan Williams ran 60+ yards a few plays later after an interception, but that bad spot was only further magnified because what of what you will see below.

2. Inches to go + ????? = Profit. This one was so unexplainable I still don’t know if it even upset me because I don’t even know what rule applies. I understand that you should have the football facing straight up, but why then did the ball not start on its correct side?

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Ta daaaaa

I haven’t seen a dead ball move like that since Tiger Woods hung a putt on the edge the 16th at Augusta National. It was a neat trick for the line judge David Blaine, who I heard later pulled out Josh Nesbitt’s eyeballs before clapping them back in place a different color.

3. Don’t you give Stinespring credit. To those of you watching the game on ESPN2 you saw not only saw three minutes of Bud Foster wake surfing but got led  down some idiotic conversation regarding the definition of consistency, or some shit like that, and the announcers pointed out that the Hokies were about as consistent as you can hope for in college football and then showed 4 coaches… head coach, defensive coordinator, strength coach, and lastly offensive coordinator. Yes, you could say Stinespring has been amazingly consistent at keeping our offensive ranking in triple digits, and despite the variation this season, I’m not convinced he has done anything consistent but suck since becoming the OC. And no, he has NOT been in that position for 14 years… pricks.

In the end I guess we did see Tyrod react very well to being down as he efficiently moved the team down the field in the final drive of the game. It was great to feel confident in a quarterback, something I haven’t done since Bryan Randall’s last season. And I’m convinced that had we recovered the onside kick Tyrod would have scores again. And also Ryan Williams, even with the flu, still showed he is going to be a terrific asset for years to come.

That damn option offense just took too much time off the clock (three of the GT drives took 6:21, 6:34 and 7:34)… it may have been even more efficient to try an onside kick every time we had to kickoff. Plus that newer college rule that the clock doesn’t stop when a player goes out-of-bounds (except in the final two minutes of the half) didn’t do us any favors either. Nice try covering the spread Bud, not enough though to save the team from a loss, I will still post the video below as the game’s moment of Zen because you are grandfathered in as totally badass regardless of this game:

You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video

In the end if we are going to lose to anyone in ACC (division implications aside) I suppose it might as well be Georgia Tech, they are nice enough fans, they have the word “engineer” in their fight song and and generally speaking haven’t done anything to piss me off. In my ranking of ACC teams I would hate to lose to in football they are dead last:

1st: Florida State and Miami (tie)
3rd: UVA
4th: Maryland
5th: Clemson
6th: Boston College
7th: UNC
8th: Duke
9th: Wake Forrest
10th: NC State
11th: Georgia Tech

So savor the win Yellow Jackets - we owe you anyway for last year when you beat Miami to let us back in to the ACC Championship game - and at least now I can stop shitting kittens over staying perfect for the rest of the season.

No Fair... they have two guys on their team.