NCAA Basketball: Tonight the Hokies face UVA for their last meeting before the ACC tournament — interestingly if the tournament started today VT would play UVA in the first round as a #6 seed versus #11. VT will be without sophomore Jeff Allen after a one-game suspension was levied by Virginia Tech athletic officials in response to Allen’s middle finger gesture to Maryland fans in the Valentine’s day loss. This also adds Allen to the Vick Brothers as a fan of the one-finger salute. I expect that the Hokies can still sweep the Cavaliers following up on their victory in Blacksburg back in January. In that game Allen contributed only 3 points and 6 rebounds in 23 minutes of playing time. EDIT: Allen, we needed you. However, representing my biggest fear tonight: Virginia Tech was up by 15 points with just under six minutes to go in that first meeting between the teams and then the Cavaliers went on a tear cutting the lead back to just one point with a few seconds to go. Because of that incident (and the several other times we have seen such occurrences this season) I will not be comfortable with any lead unless its after the game is over. Incidentally, I will be in the stands trying to get under UVA’s skin - insulting the wine pairing decisions of the student section and racist Country Club membership practices of the alumni. EDIT: Those fans are horrible, old, and have stupid wives.

NFL Football: Michael Vick’s lawyers said they expected him to be out of the prison at any moment … and that was over a week-and-a-half ago. I am guessing Vick has already been quietly transferred out of general population as he awaits travel to a Newport News halfway house for the remainder of his sentance. As his release grows closer, Vick’s name has been tossed around by plenty of fans — but few team owners are willing to admit they will consider his services (keeping in mind there’s no guarantee NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell will even reinstate Vick).  On the other hand, the new upstart UFL league has open arms, and has been on the record as seeing Vick as a great opportunity for both the new league and number 7. Though the UFL may be a epic flop after its six-game schedule starts in October, nothing Vick can do (except elloctructe dogs in his touchdown celebration) could be any worse damage than what was done in the opening XFL game sideline interview with HeHateMe. And why not cut the guy a break? The federal sentencing guidelines for Vick’s crime had recommend 12 to 18 months. Well, as we know, he got 23 months instead, and he lost all his money, and finally what was left of his public image was completely destroyed. I personally think he has learned his lesson and suffered enough, but if the cat abuser scandal of this weekend has taught us anything, public outcry favors animal life much more than human life (unless you are an ape).

MLB Baseball: Is screwed. First off Alex Rodriguez is a lying sack of shit. According to A-Shit he shot up with a needle of P.E.D.s at least 36 tims over three seasons. That sounds like plausable and fair admission, but then he went on to say the drugs were provided to him by his cousin Snuffalopogus and claims to not have known what was in said needles while injecting himself and that all of it was a big naive mistake brought on because he missed out on college… or some shit like that. Okay, fine, maybe Lip Gloss is telling the truth and a 25 million dollar a year player with a private jet he relied basically on his little sister’s boyfriend who has a fake ID for things he injected in to his body three dozen times. However on a 60 Minutes special a couple years back he told Katie Couric “I’ve never been tempted to use performance-enhancing drugs” and claimed he never tried steroids. Now THAT royally pisses me off because it wasn’t like it was a grand jury forcing him to testify under penalty of law nor was it something that the media demanded he do… no… A-Dick* did that show on his own voluntary decision and lied horribly the entire time,all-the-while admiring Katie’s purse. But then again, did all these drugs even help his numbers and turn him in to the Launchpad McQuack he is now? His average homeruns-per-at-bat in 2007 was just as good as what he did during his “juiced years” and that was when he was 5 years younger… however he did lead the AL in homers those three years. As a Sox fan I don’t like the guy, but I think we are talking about a handful of homeruns and not eye-popping Brady Anderson or Sammy Sosa jumps in the power numbers. In other news, the Nationals smuggle Dominicans in to the country using corrupt Baltimore shipping docks.

Well, that was nerve racking. I have quickly learned that watching a Hokies basketball game is far more difficult to one’s stress levels than a Hokies football game… there are just too many opportunities to get upset and freak out in a basketball contest.

Truth be told, I thought we were defiantly losing the game against NC State this afternoon when the teams headed in for halftime.  And by the time we were six minutes into the second half, down 17 points, all hopes of a NCAA tournament berth were gone and I concocted this on Photoshop. However, a half hour later, when the shot clock was off and “Enter Sandman” was shaking Cassell Coliseum I had done a complete 180.

My emotions echoed something that Seth Greenberg apparently said (this according to the horrific and polarizing television game announcers and further butchered by my poor memory): “Its frustrating and hard to understand how we can go from being such a good team to such a bad team, but that’s not game-to-game, that’s what happens within a single game.” Fortunately, Virginia Tech forgot how to be a “bad team” at some point in the second half and performed well in to the overtime. The Tech win snapped a 6-game losing streak against the Wolfpack and keeps Virginia Tech in the hunt, but the Hokies have to perform well and come away with wins against the lackluster opponents in our next four ACC games (GT, UVA, Maryland, FSU). I’m keeping my fingers crossed the “good team” shows up for those.

Back on January 8th, as the Hokies prepared to start their ACC schedule (we are ignoring Duke), I said I would revisit the team’s progress after our first five conference games and here’s how things went:

Win  - Jan. 10, 2009 Virginia
Win - Jan. 17, 2009 Boston College (then ranked #17, currently unranked)
Win - Jan. 21, 2009 at Wake Forest (then and currently ranked #4)
Win - Jan. 25, 2009 at Miami-FL
Loss - Jan. 29, 2009 Clemson (then ranked #12, currently ranked #11)

Well I hate to be unhappy with a 4-1 result especially since we upset the last undefeated and number one ranked Wake Forest team on their home court but I really feel deflated from tonight’s collapse against Clemson. Up as many as 15 in the second half the Hokies couldn’t adjust from a fast paced full-press gameplay in to a slower more aggressive protection by Clemson. From the high euphoria of Malcom Delaney’s 50-foot buzzer beater to a freezing cold middle of the second half in which the Hokies just couldn’t score it was the definition of high and low for one game. To have a certain top 25 ranking and inside track to the NCAA tournament cut in to by the Tigers by a slowly twisted knife in the Hokies’ gut was as much pain as any Hokie fan can take.

But there is a lot to be proud of, after all if you told me back at the start of the ACC schedule we could be 5-2 at the end of January - I would be exstatic. If you told me we would beat a number 1 team in that span, I would punch you in the face and then punch myself in the face. The win over Wake Forrest ranks as one of the biggest victories in Virginia Tech history and helps to ease the pain of the couple of almost-top-team-upsets the Hokies saw disappaear in the final second of the game. And other than Delaney’s rediculous performance in the first half of the Clemson game there are plenty of plays to look back upon and smile, including Allen’s great pick… I mean two great picks… against UVA, our great runs against Wake, Thorns really stepping up off the bench, and a great overtime victory on the road at Miami.

In all being 4-2 in the ACC is nothing to take lightly and if we can continue playing strong basketball against our next five ACC opponents, all of which are ranked below Virginia Tech, the Hokies can look to the last two home games against Duke and UNC to be a final push for a NCAA tournament berth before the ACC tournament at the end of the season. I am definately pleased that the basketball team is keeping me this interested in the football offseason and actually starting to make a basketball school out of Virginia Tech.

Tomorrow Virginia Tech will walk in to Joel Coliseum and attempt to hand the only undefeated team in the nation its first loss. Although it will be one of the toughest games in recent memory for the Hokies, I believe they have a real shot at making headlines when the final second ticks off the clock around 9:30pm tomorrow.

After tomorrow’s game, Wake Forest will have the upcoming weekend off, that’s before they host Number 2 ranked Duke on the 28th. Fans have started camping out for Duke, media crews are already polishing their media guides, and Dick Vitale’s hard-on has reached terminal velocity for (what would be) a 1 versus 2 match-up. Its a great opportunity for VT to come in and catch the Decons off guard (by the way never google image search “Jeff Allen” with safe-search turned off). It seems like every year Tech pulls off a great road game (sometimes ending in half court heartbreak) and the team is posied to take momentum in to North Carolina… Virginia Tech has won three straight and seven of their past eight games since mid-December. Since the Duke loss, the team signed a contract promising to give 100% the rest of the season - a tactic Seth Greenberg pulls out every year.We will see if the team upholds its end of the bargain.

Its not to say that Wake is overrated either. In five of the past six seasons, the very last team in the country to lose a game has gone on to at a minimum the Sweet 16 and three of those years the last unbeaten has advanced to the NCAA title game. Young starters Jeff Teague and Al-Farouq Aminu have been masterful but much like Hokies squad, they makeup the bulk of a three man show for scoring and rebounding. VT should look to hold back the long shot and esspecially pressure freshman Aminu, who though talented also gets in to foul trouble quickly when frustrated.As long as we play a well-paced game and don’t get ahead of ourselves (taking horrible attempts at dunks and quick look shots at threes) and the fans don’t attack us in the stands we can show the ACC that you should never overlook any team when you play in the best basketball conference in the country.

Score Prediction:  Virginia Tech 80 - Wake Forrest 78 (far fetched — but change you can believe in)

The ACC schedule is underway for the Hokies and it is time to start scrutinizing every game and how it could impact the Hokies’ chances of making it to the NCAA tournament. VT already fell to Duke in an unsurprising rout (which was looking like a ballgame a few minutes in to the second half but quickly deteriorated when the Hokies tried to speed things up). ACC Game number 2 is Saturday when VT takes on UVA. Its a chance to start the tally of all-important ACC wins. The ACC usually sends a good number of teams to the tournament, however last year the conference only managed four teams compared to Big East’s eight, and this year there is a good crop of talent in the conference to return to old trends and get a majority of ACC schools playing in March. Currently ESPN’s bracketology forecasts seven ACC teams in the dance, the Hokies of course are outside looking in.

With the exception of Duke and UNC who are basically constants, ACC teams find a way to at least GET to the tournament every three years or so. A look at the last time each team made the tournament shows that all but two teams have been within the past three years, with Wake Forrest just a year behind that… Florida State hasn’t been in a decade but look like they could return this year. I personally hope they don’t make it and lose to a bad case of measles after trading goods with Coppin State.

So what will that mean for the Hokies, who were considered one of the last bubble teams left out last year? It means with their underwhelming out-of-conference performance they will need to pick up a good number of wins, against good ACC opponents, if they want to return in 2008 after a year hiatus. Our next 5 ACC games should be a good barometer for gauging how hard this battle will be:

Next 5 ACC Games:
Jan. 10, 2009 Virginia
Jan. 17, 2009 Boston College (currently ranked #17)
Jan. 21, 2009 at Wake Forest (currently 13-0 and ranked #4)
Jan. 25, 2009 at Miami-FL
Jan. 29, 2009 Clemson (currently ranked #12)

We will revisit at the end of January and see how tech is doing and whether or not its time to start thinking about baseball season…

Sure its a recession and holiday shoppers have really cut back on their spending but its not too much to ask for a few things under our Hokies Christmas Tree.

• The Stocking - your stocking is filled with little tidbits that just make getting to what’s under the tree the main event so whats more fitting than asking for a handful of inner-conference Basketball wins. Given our difficult start to the season we need at least 10 ACC wins to have any shot at the NCAA tournament. These wins can come at home or away, I won’t care, but I would really love to see some Blue Devil tears at Cassel on February 28th.

• The Homemade Gift - so the macaroni didn’t spell your name out completely and for some reason you were drawn with big red wolverine claws but its the thought that counts, right? This year my homemade-cost-a-penny gift is that I want to hear more accountability from our coaching staff if things continue to suffer offensively. If things are going badly I don’t want you to coddle me it in soft statistics like how we could have 10 wins this season and only USC and Texas have as many consecutive double digit win seasons - flat out tell us that we deserve better and if things don’t change on the grass then its going to change in the office. I think in 2009 I would like to avoid eating more dogshit. Oh, and a commit to play from Tajh Boyd wouldn’t cost much either and would be pretty swell.

• The You-Are-So-Behind Gift - Yeah it would be cool to get a Gameboy game if you weren’t already playing on the Gameboy Color asshole, next time ask Babage’s opinion. These impossible to avoid razor-scooter-two-years-after-the-craze gifts usually come from an out-of-touch relative that really do mean well but you would really rather they had planted such a surprise back when it would have been the talk of the cul-de-sac. This year I want a reliable sole starting quaterback behind center- combined with a good mixture of offensive play calling - consider it the Bryan Randall of 2008 (there is a reason he is the only jersey I wear).

• The BIG Gift - you know every year you looked forward to one BIG gift under the tree be it a mountain bike, a Super Nintendo, or Mark Teixeira. Well this year, in a sign of understanding of the financial woes we all live in, I just want something that is relatively small and easy but would mean the world to me - that’s right all I want is one simple BCS Bowl game win. We are 7-14 overall in bowl games (good for a 55th best in NCAA rankings) and we are a fat 0-3 in BCS bowl games. Right now, we have Cincinnati teed-up high for a great old school Big East versus new school Big East match-up and I have had to endure witnessing 3 BCS loses from the stands… all I want for Christmas is for that trend to end.

• The Pony - This is the gift you ask for because your too shitforbrains to realize Stealth Bombers aren’t available at Costco. I would love to have a Head-Coach-In-Waiting position for Bud Foster and a job at Radford for Stinespring. Honestly I don’t see this happening in 2009 but you never know, there always was at least one asshole at your school who rode to school on January 2nd in a dune buggy.

I don’t know what I will find under-the-tree/beside-the-menorah-oils this year, but if any of these presents show up it will be the best Christmas morning ever… well since Playstation in ‘94. Oh and Stinespring - don’t you dare leave a pair of wool socks and homemade fruitcake for us on the 1st or we’re so toilet papering your house on our first snowday.

The Hokies lost by the narrow(est) margin on Tuesday, falling to Georgia 66-67. That makes the team 5-4 and Seth Greenberg so angry that his non-existent hair follicles produce boiling water. And there is reason for steam: in the four losses this season the Hokies have lost by a combined total of 8 points. The only silver lining is that the team is playing hard throughout each game and will learn that everyday is a new game and a new chance to lose by one or two points.

Hopefully this gets out of their system when it comes time for conference play. The Hokies will need a solid finish in the ACC standings and should seek out some feather-in-the-cap wins against top ranked UNC or Duke if they want a shot at the tournament. I have faith the team will find a way to clean things up - after all they are only 3 possessions worth of points away from a perfect 9-0 record.

The Hokies pulled off a great end to their regular season on Saturday by beating BC for a second straight ACC Championship title. Collectively the offense, defense, and special teams played their most balanced game I have seen this season. The game wasn’t without the usual frustrations and questionable play calling as well as head-shaking realizations that our offense is a joke to be considered a BCS conference champion but there was plenty to be happy about with the defense, Tyrod Taylors endzone reaching footwork, and even our kicking game looked good. It was supposed to be a defensive battle between the two teams and Virginia Tech won the turnover tally by grabbing two INT and a couple fumble recoveries but they also narrowly missed having a couple more INT and BC lucked out on a questionable Darren Evans fumble call and review.

The game itself was one of the most entertaining off-field performances also. Throughout the broadcast the announcers alluded to how wasted the crew and staff had gotten that weekend. At one point they identified a shark as taking the likeness of Paul Maguire, the sideline announcer, and showed embarrassing footage of the camera crew from a hotel karaoke bar. And then… yep… Cory Holt punched Frank Beamer in the face after our 50-yard field goal passed through the uprights. The footage will make Hokie football lore forever but I have to hand it to ESPN for putting together a third quarter montage recap which included the cold clock by Holt and “Paul the Shark’s” parrot throwing tirades aboard his pirate ship.

Raymond James stadium looked desolate on television, as the camera cut to pedophiles in the upper corners of empty sections around the stadium. Astonishingly the venue recorded 53,927 guest tickets being torn that day but we all know that’s bullshit since they claimed 52,000 came out to Jacksonville last year. If you thought that the football game was empty, you should have seen the turnout at the Verizon Center for the Navy/Virginia Tech Basketball game, the first of two games in the BB&T Classic.

Though the Hokies won, they didn’t really make it look very pretty- at least in the first half. They shot poorly as a team early on and missed easy rebound opportunities but were much more cohesive in the second half and Malcolm Delaney led the Hokies with 21 points (including going a perfect 11-of-11 from the line) to beat Navy 79-70. BB&T has really let their tournament go to shit -its not even a tournament anymore- but it was good to be able to watch the team and players like Allen and Vassallo live for a change and also witness Seth Greenberg’s emotions devolve from “well-mannered” to “maniac” over the course of the game. The few Hokie fans that came out were a good support and even got Verizon center echoing “Let’s Go… Hokies” chants to take on the loud brass of the Midshipmen band and the cheering Navy students who were not lucky enough (or without rank) to make it to the Army/Navy game at Lincoln Financial in Philly.

Now the question is how to get down to Miami without spending Verizon center suite prices ($70 bucks for a sink of ice and Bud Selects).

After a long weekend and plenty of Hokie-related news let’s check and see what’s under the foil…

MAIN COURSE: COASTAL CHAMPS
Obviously the big news is that the Hokies beat UVA and earned a spot in the ACC Championship as the Coastal Division Champs. We retain both the Commonwealth Cup and Coastal Trophy and get to play this Saturday against Boston College.

BC, if you recall, beat the Hokies earlier this year thanks in part to Eagles return man Rich Gunnell’s 65-yard punt return TD, which allowed BC to squeak a win with a 4-point margin. BC gave up five turnovers and didn’t score once in the second half but Virginia Tech failed to capitalize on the mistakes (well somewhat - there were two INT for TD and a blocked field goal, so I guess in reality it was the offense who failed to pour on more points). Hopefully getting out of Chestnut Hill and down to Tampa will help heat up the Hokies on both sides of the ball and give us a repeat of last year’s ACC Championship when VT won the second match-up against Boston College after losing a national-title-trip-ending-heart-breaker in Blacksburg halfway through the season. I also shotgunned 9 beers in my living room, alone, in that redemption win. Bottom line: Even though the Hokies took one of the most unlikely of paths to this year’s championship all is forgotten… the beer pong redemption cups have been made… and I just hope we take a deep breath and sink every shot we take be it on offense or defense.

DESSERT: BUD FOSTER’S PIE
Bud Foster is safe. For now. Clemson has promoted interim coach Dabo Swinney to the head coach position, leaving Bud Foster with Virginia Tech for the time being. About a year ago, Foster’s agent claimed that his client was expected to be in a head coaching position “within the next two years. This year or next year.” So, who may be next to try for Bud? A lot of schools probably . But which of those schools can make him as excited as he was when he ran down the sideline pumping his fist at the end of the VT/UVA game? None of ‘em.

SIDE: ACC/BIG TEN BASKETBALL
The theme of Monday’s VT/Wisconsin game was “3-point madness”. The teams were a combined 23-32 from behind the 3-point line sending me in to a see-saw of emotion as each team exchanged long balls. The Hokie Basketball curse that has become Seth Greenberg’s “nightmare” found its way in to Cassell once again as Wisconsin sank a game winner in the last second of the game. The Hokies looked impressive and physical throughout the game and really shouldn’t feel bad about such an exciting lead off to the ACC/BIG 10 Challenge. I had some problems with bad foul calls away from the ball on Allen- but in the end it was not fouls that decided the game but simply great shooting by both teams. I was pleased with what I saw and I am looking forward to my first game this season down at Tech. The commentators did offer one consolation prize toward the end of the game which I think bears repeating: “This has become one of the greatest atmospheres to experience a college basketball game in the country.” Keep it up fans, eventually the clock will do its job and learn how to expire just a few tenths of second sooner.

• 
• Virginia Tech Men’s Basketball will be flying back from Puerto Rico with their first two games in the loss column thanks in part to a miracle half court shot that crushed the Hokies in a semi-final game against Xavier. Xavier is a decent team with similar expectations this season as the Hokies. The two teams played tough throughout the entire regulation and held close in the first overtime when Jeff Allen gave the Hokies a 2 point lead with 1.9 seconds to go. In what has become a seasonal tradition for the Hokies, the win was ripped from their hands in a last milisecond desperation half court shot by Xavier’s Dante Jackson which banked in for the unlikely win, allowing Xavier to go on and beat Memphis in the finals. I suppose the only silver lining to this heartbreak is that happened early on in the season as opposed to in the thick of the ACC schedule against … oh say #1 ranked Duke.

   

• On Sunday the ACC finally released kickoff times for the final games of the season. The Hokies were given the old and faithful noon kickoff slot, again hampering fans from consuming too much alcohol and helping stimulate hospitality services in Blacksburg and Christiansburg by tying us up in staying two nights to enjoy the game. I understand they wanted to have the two decisive ACC games at different time slots but noon? At least give us the 3:30 kickoff and give Boston College/Maryland the 7 o’clock start time. Sadly, I think the weak draw ACC had to bend to the Vanderbilt at Wake Forest game on ESPNU which is the only ACC game set for an SEC-friendly 7pm.

   

• My high school Football team has gone flawless in the Northern Region of Virginia to win its third Regional title since 2002. The Oakton Cougars (13-0) executed to perfection on Saturday afternoon, scoring on every possession of the opening half and limiting our arch rivals Chantilly Chargers to only two scores in a 52-14 win. Oakton will play Newport News Boys Penitentiary For The Mentally Insane in the state championship on Christmas Day. I mention this accomplishment only because I wonder if Oakton’s offensive coordinator could have come up with a way to score more than ONE single time against Duke on Saturday. I say give the guy a chance, he was also my Physics AP teacher.