The 2004 USC Butterfly Effect
So we already know that USC had to vacate it’s 2004 Orange Bowl Championship game win because of NCAA rules violations and that was the year that Virginia Tech opened up against USC at FedEx field. So then if that USC team didn’t really “exist” then just how different would have our 2004 season have been?
1. First of all we would have turned the FedEx home opener in to a shit slinging barn burner. With no team to compete against for 60 minutes there wouldn’t have been a need for any keys at all, just start chanting “stick it in” from your own 20 and start setting records.
2. With an 11-1 record the Hokies would have played in the National Championship game. Losing to only NC State on what would go down as one of Brandon Pace’s only bad games, the Hokies may have squeaked by to play Oklahoma in the National Championship and we all know OU only loses the big games so by that logic the Hokies would be crowned national champions.
3. An outpouring of pride in the Commonwealth of Virginia resulting from the Hokies first National Championship would motivate the young voters of the state, turning the state for the democrats in the 2004 presidential election thus causing a run off in which John Kerry would be elected the 44th President of the United States.
4. With Dick Cheney out of the White House, Halliburton would have far less power and would not secure Off-Shore Drilling subcontracts in the Gulf of Mexico. You guessed it, crisis avoided, the gulf is safe and the world is at peace and everyone is a Hokies fan.
So now that we know what happens when you erase USC from the 2004 season we can all look back wishing that the world knew then what it knows now. The 2004 Hokie National Championship team and creation of 100% clean renewable energy were so close to being a reality, mankind just wasn’t ready for Utopia.
love it. the logic makes complete sense. stupid usc!
The best post you have ever done.
So that would mean Obama wouldn’t be president?
No, He would be Veep. See, near the end of John Kerry’s wildly successful first term, rumors started swirling about Veep John Edwards, err, extra-curricular activities. Edwards was not actually impeached, but he was censured by both the Senate and the House, and Kerry dropped him from the ticket in his 2008 re-election bid.
Looking around for a new running mate, he latched onto an exciting first-term Senator from Illinois, Barack Obama. This was the same Obama who had rocked the house at the 2004 Dem convention with an amazing keynote address. Kerry did not need any convincing. In 2008 they beat the Republican team of McCain and Giuliani is a huge landslide.
If Kerry’s second term is as popular as his first was, then Obama is probably a shoe-in to be elected to “Kerry’s third term” in 2012.
Your a moron Liberal. I would of loved to see Kerry try to tell troops to fight in Iraq or Afghanistan.
Uh, pretty sure the troops were already in Iraq and Afhanistan in 2004 my well-informed Conservative friend. We should all be so proud of going to war at a cost of $1,000,000,000,000+ at a time of financial crisis. I support the troops and love this country but don’t beat that fear mongering war drum as if it was a good decision. (Also *you’re*)
ARE PEOPLE SERIOUSLY HAVING A POLITICAL DEBATE ON DIC TAILGATE?! 1/4 of the posts here are about Chipotle burritos! Seriously you guys, GTFO.