Oh boy, its that time of the year again! This Saturday the Hokies get to travel in to College Park to take on Maryland. Its like the day you lose an hour of sleep thanks to daylight savings - its a necessary evil but it must be done. Now don’t get me wrong, I can’t think of a more enjoyable Saturday afternoon than going to a football game with 51,000 screaming Jersey douch smear rejects of SUNY-Plattsburgh who are spitting in my face that they will make my mother air-tight as they are flash shockers from behind the ultraviolet safety of their aviator sunglasses.

But you know, something always makes me want to crush the living shit out of Maryland, I can’t quite figure out what it is. Perhaps its that I don’t like that there is even a conversation happening that Maryland/VT should be considered a “rivalry” - face it, Maryland is about as significant to Virginia Tech as a trip see old ass relatives to make sure they smile once more before dying somewhere in upstate New York.
… Which is why it makes this season’s match-up all that more concerning…

we must crush them

If this season has showed us anything up to this point its that we have found a great way of playing down to our competition.  Sure, we beat ECU on Thursday Night Football and the broadcasters highlighted our defensive power in the red zone (mind you they gave just as much attention to a cereal based snack created by Coach Holtz’ wife called “Pirate Treasure Munch”) and seemed content to fluff Tyrod’s balls during the entire game but remember we only mustered 16 points in a game in which Ryan Williams was setting season-high rushing numbers. This has to improve. In time for what you ask? Well I’ll be damned if after a season that began with legitimate mention of the words “National Championship” we have our throat stomped in by some shit team like Maryland.

The ONLY team Maryland has BEAT this entire season is Clemson (who clearly had someone personally make death threats to all those who are voting in the AP because somehow that turd on wheels is in the top 25). Sure, you COULD claim that Maryland also beat JMU… but to take your home opener in to overtime against a CAA school with a losing record is about as much of a win as eating Jimmy John’s subs and not shitting blood.

And we do have some new snazzy uniforms thanks to Nike (I personally like the gloves). But don’t think for a second that these slick new threads will make the play calling any different, or magically erase our love for 3-and-outs, or stop us from jerking each other off as we sputter and fail to score at first and goal from the five. This team has run out of time to “find itself” in 2009 and at this point we are playing for confidence and experience heading in to the 2010 season and with it a renewed shot at the ACC title and beyond.

So here we are, going up against a team that historically we are about .500 against (15-14 all time), who’s coach has given up more on his team than he has portion control, and a team who’s stupid shitty mascot who holds a big M to his chest to let us all know that M stands for “rapist cock whistles… Uh… Mmm-hmm” and I can’t help but fear what could happen.

In sum, we need to win this game because we have plenty to lose against an opponent which we horrible outmatch on paper and should equally outmatch on the field. This is the home stretch of three games before we head in to the bowl season (oh boy, I can’t wait to see if its the tire bowl or blooming onion bowl) and we still have a shot at holding our heads in the air with a 10-win season.

Let’s not let up now Hokies, not against this stain of a team.

Score Prediction: Virginia Tech 24, Maryland 0