Nothing like starting the season with a game that has the same caliber and excitement of a major bowl game. Not since the USC/VT FedEx Field opener has there been such an enticing start to a season, and we all can’t wait to see what will go down in Atlanta on the first Saturday of the college football season. Its good to put a real test to the Hokies at the start of the season also, too many years we start off with a JMU-caliber opener and don’t get challenged enough until a big program blindsides us (and I am sure that the team hasn’t forgotten the pain of last year’s ECU opener and will be fully prepared for a fight). Besides, we can always recover down the season should something less than favorable happen in our first game. Its worked in the past for teams like Florida, Florida State, OSU, and USC to lose early and hope everyone forgets by December.

Rating: 5 Frank Beamers getting punched in the face

I’m pretty sure we are playing Marshall this season as a result of a trademark infringement settlement related to Giovanni’s “We Are Virginia Tech” speech. Regardless, its always good to open at home with a relatively easy game to get the Lane Stadium faithful back on tempo and get the secondary a chance to snag some long balls out of the sky. The Thundering Herd ended last season in more of a whimpering crawl, but you never know what to expect out of CUSA, just ask ECU.

Rating: 2 Complacent but bored Frank Beamers

This could be one of the best home games of the year. Last year’s trip to Lincoln showed a lot of what Tech had to offer outside of their east coast market. It was the farthest west the Hokies had traveled for a regular season game and helped bolster ACC respect among other conferences. Memorial Stadium is perhaps the best place to watch a college football game in the country, and their loyal corn fed fans are expected to travel well and make for a memorable conclusion to this one-and-one.

Rating: 4 Excitedly Handsome Frank Beamers

Miami sucks. The vacant cat-filled shithole known as the Orange Bowl sucks. Their fans, who never attended Miami, suck. The only thing redeeming about this game is that it is in Blacksburg and we have a chance to scream our faces off at them. The Miami football program has changed so much in the past few seasons I really don’t know what to expect other than a lot of ankle monitors and a spike in do-rag sales at Target.

Rating: 2 Hate-filled Frank Beamers

We didn’t exactly blow away Duke last year so the thought of going to visit them doesn’t really feel all that great until you remember that they are Duke, and no one ever loses to Duke, except UVA and hookers.

Rating: 2 Bored Crystal Gail Mangums

ESPN’s stain of a reporter Heather Dinich picked BC Football to finish 11th in the ACC next season.She actually thinks Duke will be a better team than BC. Granted BC has recenlty faced some unexpected and unfortunate losses to the program but I wouldn’t count them out, even at Lane. I can remember a Saturday night game down in Blacksburg in which BC came in and showed the fans you can never ignore the Eagles… unless its the ACC championship game.

Rating: 2 Happy As Shit, 1 Straight Faced Frank Beamers

I support Georgia Tech… especially when they steal our jerseys. Its a trip back to Atlanta I will wish I was in the stands to see. Georgia Tech has enough talent to scare us, just like they almost did last year, but I have confidence that we match up well against the Jackets as we come in to the second half of our season. We are sandwiched in as a solo home game between 4 road games for the Jackets, they may be feeling the pain from travel but I can be sure that this game is at the forefront of coaches’ and players’ minds down in Atlanta.

Rating: 2.5 Happy To Play Frank Beamers

At some point I think I remember someone trying to convince me that UNC was an up-and-coming football program. I even think I was pretty scared of playing them in response to his claims, but then the guy said “Holy shit, is that a Tyler Hansbrough highlight?” and we forgot all about the conversation. I wonder what ever happened to UNC football’s program. Ooo look, its on a Thursday night! In all seriousness, I’m still not convinced Yates and company can do something against our defense - they just haven’t improved enough as a team to beat the Hokies. We just need to get the ball to the pylons once or twice.

Rating: 2 Gunna Steal Your Bike Frank Beamers

These pricks…. Okay, I really don’t hate them, but I hated how we lost last season. Sports writers couldn’t resist saying we had “Beamer ball turned upon us.” No sirs that is incorrect, we simply got caught with our pants down (no cock visible) in front of a large “neutral” (yeah right) Charlotte crowd. Personally, I know we lost because I didn’t have a wad of dip in my mouth. I hope that we can settle the score this year in what will be the biggest game ECU has ever hosted at their stadium, located behind the Family Dollar.

Rating: 4 Drunken Revenge Frank Beamers

I don’t have anything to say about this game. Heading in to Maryland is as heartwarming as a partial birth abortion. I hope they experiment with a white/black/pink out this year - it always seems to provide the 40 or so points the Hokies need to continue bragging around the beltway.

Rating: 3 Disgustedly Sickened Frank Beamers

NC State is scary this year… Especially this late in the season. I have faith that the homefield advantage will be the edge we need, but make no mistake we will need it. Although NC State was 4-4 in the ACC last season they are on a rebound and Virginia Tech has never really been able to handle the Wolfpack that well. Its like one of those strange Madden 2002 matchups where you can’t understand why the computer algorithm throws an impossible win at you when you pair up the ‘79 Packers against the ‘96 Vikings. NC State builds up its in-conference schedule until the showdown with Tech late in the season. Could this be a preview of this year’s ACC Championship game?

Rating: 4 Last Home Game Lets-Not-Blow-It Frank Beamers

I heard we are going to have some kind of “exhibition cocktail party” in late November. Some of the football players will be on hand to play-out a mock scrimmage and sign autographs. Details to follow.

Rating: 2 Leslie Nielsens, 1 Best Coach In the Commonwealth Beamer