NCAA Basketball: Tonight the Hokies face UVA for their last meeting before the ACC tournament — interestingly if the tournament started today VT would play UVA in the first round as a #6 seed versus #11. VT will be without sophomore Jeff Allen after a one-game suspension was levied by Virginia Tech athletic officials in response to Allen’s middle finger gesture to Maryland fans in the Valentine’s day loss. This also adds Allen to the Vick Brothers as a fan of the one-finger salute. I expect that the Hokies can still sweep the Cavaliers following up on their victory in Blacksburg back in January. In that game Allen contributed only 3 points and 6 rebounds in 23 minutes of playing time. EDIT: Allen, we needed you. However, representing my biggest fear tonight: Virginia Tech was up by 15 points with just under six minutes to go in that first meeting between the teams and then the Cavaliers went on a tear cutting the lead back to just one point with a few seconds to go. Because of that incident (and the several other times we have seen such occurrences this season) I will not be comfortable with any lead unless its after the game is over. Incidentally, I will be in the stands trying to get under UVA’s skin - insulting the wine pairing decisions of the student section and racist Country Club membership practices of the alumni. EDIT: Those fans are horrible, old, and have stupid wives.

NFL Football: Michael Vick’s lawyers said they expected him to be out of the prison at any moment … and that was over a week-and-a-half ago. I am guessing Vick has already been quietly transferred out of general population as he awaits travel to a Newport News halfway house for the remainder of his sentance. As his release grows closer, Vick’s name has been tossed around by plenty of fans — but few team owners are willing to admit they will consider his services (keeping in mind there’s no guarantee NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell will even reinstate Vick).  On the other hand, the new upstart UFL league has open arms, and has been on the record as seeing Vick as a great opportunity for both the new league and number 7. Though the UFL may be a epic flop after its six-game schedule starts in October, nothing Vick can do (except elloctructe dogs in his touchdown celebration) could be any worse damage than what was done in the opening XFL game sideline interview with HeHateMe. And why not cut the guy a break? The federal sentencing guidelines for Vick’s crime had recommend 12 to 18 months. Well, as we know, he got 23 months instead, and he lost all his money, and finally what was left of his public image was completely destroyed. I personally think he has learned his lesson and suffered enough, but if the cat abuser scandal of this weekend has taught us anything, public outcry favors animal life much more than human life (unless you are an ape).

MLB Baseball: Is screwed. First off Alex Rodriguez is a lying sack of shit. According to A-Shit he shot up with a needle of P.E.D.s at least 36 tims over three seasons. That sounds like plausable and fair admission, but then he went on to say the drugs were provided to him by his cousin Snuffalopogus and claims to not have known what was in said needles while injecting himself and that all of it was a big naive mistake brought on because he missed out on college… or some shit like that. Okay, fine, maybe Lip Gloss is telling the truth and a 25 million dollar a year player with a private jet he relied basically on his little sister’s boyfriend who has a fake ID for things he injected in to his body three dozen times. However on a 60 Minutes special a couple years back he told Katie Couric “I’ve never been tempted to use performance-enhancing drugs” and claimed he never tried steroids. Now THAT royally pisses me off because it wasn’t like it was a grand jury forcing him to testify under penalty of law nor was it something that the media demanded he do… no… A-Dick* did that show on his own voluntary decision and lied horribly the entire time,all-the-while admiring Katie’s purse. But then again, did all these drugs even help his numbers and turn him in to the Launchpad McQuack he is now? His average homeruns-per-at-bat in 2007 was just as good as what he did during his “juiced years” and that was when he was 5 years younger… however he did lead the AL in homers those three years. As a Sox fan I don’t like the guy, but I think we are talking about a handful of homeruns and not eye-popping Brady Anderson or Sammy Sosa jumps in the power numbers. In other news, the Nationals smuggle Dominicans in to the country using corrupt Baltimore shipping docks.