I know I said I wouldn’t get political on DT but this just pisses me off the same way cover charge at TOTS does…

The (tivo’d) debate I watched tonight talked a lot about an average Joe plumber by the name of Joe Wurzelbacher. Insert Google search. Well it stinks to high hell of complete bullshit staged by the GOP.

Actual Interview

No Spin Zone

Why does the whole thing seem so odd and so perfectly sound byted? Here’s 10 reasons it was bullshit brewed for team McBaine:

1. He begins speaking immediately as Obama comes near him and in a very oddly forced manner
2. He has perfect buzz phrases like “I’m being taxed more and more for fulfilling the American Dream”
3. He speaks loud and clearly as if he is aware of the sound bytes he will be creating, oh and he is in good view and lighting for those cameras
4. His name is JOE… how fucking perfect is that for the news? We’re all like Joe because thats his name
5. He says hes just a “plumber” - I’m sorry, but anyone expecting 270k in profit a year with that much of a chip on their shoulder would surely call themselves something obnoxious like a “Master Plumber” or “HVAC specialist” but I guess saying plumber makes fat mid-westerners believe that they too in the next 4 years will be just like Joe
6. He has slightly off-point follow up questions ready to go in a heartbeat as if not even listening
7. “Joe” is attractive enough to be seen on TV… repeatedly (I give that to maybe 10% of the population of Ohio)
8. He seems to have a great awareness of both candidates’ plans but seems to not recognize how insignificant his tax change will be between the two plans and confuses the meaning of the word “profit” with “revenue”
9. He’s JUST this year reaching a level where he profits “$250,000.00 uhh $270,000.00 a year” - sounds too perfect and reminds us where Obama’s cut off is
10. He said he found Obama’s presence and effort “weak” - the potential 44th President of the United States just spent 5 minutes talking to you about your whiny shit and you call it “weak”? Interesting.

By my account, Obama answered the guys questions pretty thoroughly– even though they seemed rehearsed. I personally think Joe was paid and prepped by an obscure GOP support group. We will find out this truth when Joe Schmo exposes it in 2009 for a bit more taste of fame. Staged or real, it’s really moronic to say all Americans can relate to buying 270k-a-year-profit business.

And how does one BUY a business that guarantees to make 270k-a-year in profit anyway? This guy is either smashed on oxy-cotton or has no idea what the hell it takes to make money in a small business. Just getting a stack of vistaprint business cards and a sticker for the back of your PT Cruiser with a phone number wont get you jack shit without thorough planning, investments, business contacts, clients, staff, advertising, HARD WORK… uggg whatever. If you can buy profit then why aren’t we all rich? Oh yeah and for all his whines and research he should know that a $270,000 business getting taxed under Obama’s plan would get hit for an additional 3% for earnings over 250k so he’s looking at an extra $700 or so more in taxes… wow, what a fucking crybaby. Fake Fake Fake.

I’m sick of this. Give me my “I voted” sticker, my free burrito, and get the black man in office already.