From contributing author Jro:

Amidst the swirling news of the failing, no recovering, no, no, failing again economy, the presidential election, lay-offs, hot Lil’ Wayne tracks, and a rather disparaging Hokie’s season it seems that those around have forgotten about Halloween. To think that we have gotten so wrapped up in our post-collegiate careers that we have forgotten one of the most exciting and yet confusing holidays. Let me reminisce….

To begin, I never really got the whole damn holiday. For the first half of my childhood it was fucking exciting as shit, I mean stay up late, wear costumes, eat candy…Fuck yeah!!!! What else was there? But the second half, oh, well that was a different story. Apparently when I turned 10 it became a satanic holiday in which children who participated in the evenings events were damned eternally to hell for their worship of the devil on his most sacred of nights?? I remember when my parents sat me down to show me a video of what Halloween really meant. Just think Sesame Street meets eternal damnation. No, no, just think about it…..give it a min, oh yeah fucking twisted.

And then there were the college years. Oh the years on my own, the seven gloriuos college years of rebellion, booze ‘a’ plenty, the inevitable 7ft bong costume, Swain’s Stevie Nixx costume, and lets not forget the dumb slut who just wore her underwear…I loved that chic so little selfesteem but so much fun.

But then there is now. I mean at the age I’m at the holiday has left me with just another reason to get obliterated and dry hump a few aging coed’s that lost their touch a few years ago. I mean don’t get me started on that shit but seriously, I am sorry I thought you were dressed as cows…how was I supposed to know that you were in fact dalmations? Its not like the freaking movie is a recent release from the local redbox. There is only 4 of you! Where is the other freaking 97?

I mean honestly am I too old to dress up this year? I freaking think so. Seems to me the best years I ever had anyways were when I just went dressed in what I wore to work that day. For instance:

Hey jRo what are you dressed as?
• “A fucking adult”
• “Someone who was forced to go to a semi-formal”
• “The asshole you are going to wake up next to”
• Or perhaps more appropriate this year - “Employed”

So yeah this year I am not dressing up! Sure I will be out drinking as usual and I know I will be surrounded by the masses wearing the same 5 freaking costumes. But NO, I will be too good for that! I am officially protesting this childish and stupid holiday. I am almost 30 dammit, and I have a job and I need to grow up. To this day I am haunted by images of Burt screwing Ernie in the ass while The Count (Satan) laughs and counts in the fiery background.

So if by chance you are out in DC and looking for me on Halloween….

…..I’ll be the guy in the green man costume.

Well this was one of the reasons I was excited to join the ACC - getting to play Florida State. I am not as excited about it as I was when we first joined, and even less excited to be 4.5 point underdogs, but I would still love to slaughter the Seminoles in their own house.

There are those cow girl stripper whores who seduce their way to the front row of every game and wear shiny bras who I do think kick total ass. But, if I think something in this world rocks, chances are every woman thinks the complete opposite and I’m sure this year’s female aerospace engineering class loves the stigma that implanted-cheap-fuck-wedges go to Florida State. But you do have to hand it to any school which you can google image search and masturbate to the results - understand though that my support in FSU pretty much stops there and then falls completely off the table. In fact, I hope the Hokies embarass the Seminolesto the point that they black out the second half of coverage for being too racist to native americans.

From what I can tell, Florida State is somewhat like the Hokies: young and inexperienced. Though they didn’t start the season with as many rookies as VT, several key positions including quarterback have never partaken in a Thursday night high profile game like this and like the Hokies many players are still learning how to handle things. I’ll tip the advantage to Tyrod for the QB position and assume that our defense will do its usual to hold back the long ball and pick 6 at least once. My biggest fear is what has become the 800 poung gorilla in the corner that NO ONE can avoid… it is the inconsistent and sometimes insanely slow-to-adjust play calling of Bryan Stinespring. For the fourth week I will beg that he call long passes on first down and rely on the run only when the opportunity is right. There is a reason that Tyrod Taylor is the only player to rush for 100 yards a game on our team. We aren’t going to move the ball well with either manufactured QB runs that fool no one or panicking 3rd and long plays that give Tyrod no options because our receivers are well covered with the expecting long pass.

Virginia Tech historically hasn’t fared well against FSU and the Hokies haven’t won in Tallahassee in over 30 years but I still think we have more in us than we showed in Boston College. Remember that last season Boston College was a mid-year loss that gave our team a jump start which led to 6 consecutive wins and an ACC championship redemption game. I think we will be down in the first half and climb back through the second, but I only hope its not too late once Stinespring realizes how to run an offense in the fourth quarter. Hopefully when this is all said and done I’ll be reading some idiot’s sports article entitled “Tallahassee, A College Kid’s Greatest Wet Dream” (yeah, fuck you still, Jula).

I can see a close game, adding up to around 40-45 points total, I just don’t know which way the line will fall and who will come away with the 1 or 2 point victory. Score Prediction: Virginia Tech 21, FSU 20

I have to accept that the Red Sox season is over. I didn’t want to but alas this is the end of my baseball enjoyment for the year -granted there is some team that has no idea what its doing playing some team that Swain once said something about but otherwise that’s that. I really wanted to bitch about this shirt at some point also, oh well.

I know I said I wouldn’t get political on DT but this just pisses me off the same way cover charge at TOTS does…

The (tivo’d) debate I watched tonight talked a lot about an average Joe plumber by the name of Joe Wurzelbacher. Insert Google search. Well it stinks to high hell of complete bullshit staged by the GOP.

Actual Interview

No Spin Zone

Why does the whole thing seem so odd and so perfectly sound byted? Here’s 10 reasons it was bullshit brewed for team McBaine:

1. He begins speaking immediately as Obama comes near him and in a very oddly forced manner
2. He has perfect buzz phrases like “I’m being taxed more and more for fulfilling the American Dream”
3. He speaks loud and clearly as if he is aware of the sound bytes he will be creating, oh and he is in good view and lighting for those cameras
4. His name is JOE… how fucking perfect is that for the news? We’re all like Joe because thats his name
5. He says hes just a “plumber” - I’m sorry, but anyone expecting 270k in profit a year with that much of a chip on their shoulder would surely call themselves something obnoxious like a “Master Plumber” or “HVAC specialist” but I guess saying plumber makes fat mid-westerners believe that they too in the next 4 years will be just like Joe
6. He has slightly off-point follow up questions ready to go in a heartbeat as if not even listening
7. “Joe” is attractive enough to be seen on TV… repeatedly (I give that to maybe 10% of the population of Ohio)
8. He seems to have a great awareness of both candidates’ plans but seems to not recognize how insignificant his tax change will be between the two plans and confuses the meaning of the word “profit” with “revenue”
9. He’s JUST this year reaching a level where he profits “$250,000.00 uhh $270,000.00 a year” - sounds too perfect and reminds us where Obama’s cut off is
10. He said he found Obama’s presence and effort “weak” - the potential 44th President of the United States just spent 5 minutes talking to you about your whiny shit and you call it “weak”? Interesting.

By my account, Obama answered the guys questions pretty thoroughly– even though they seemed rehearsed. I personally think Joe was paid and prepped by an obscure GOP support group. We will find out this truth when Joe Schmo exposes it in 2009 for a bit more taste of fame. Staged or real, it’s really moronic to say all Americans can relate to buying 270k-a-year-profit business.

And how does one BUY a business that guarantees to make 270k-a-year in profit anyway? This guy is either smashed on oxy-cotton or has no idea what the hell it takes to make money in a small business. Just getting a stack of vistaprint business cards and a sticker for the back of your PT Cruiser with a phone number wont get you jack shit without thorough planning, investments, business contacts, clients, staff, advertising, HARD WORK… uggg whatever. If you can buy profit then why aren’t we all rich? Oh yeah and for all his whines and research he should know that a $270,000 business getting taxed under Obama’s plan would get hit for an additional 3% for earnings over 250k so he’s looking at an extra $700 or so more in taxes… wow, what a fucking crybaby. Fake Fake Fake.

I’m sick of this. Give me my “I voted” sticker, my free burrito, and get the black man in office already.

The Red Sox need to get their pitching together. No more Tampa Bay homerun derby over the wall. No more Ortiz with wrist problems. No more Varitek stinking up the plate and cheating on his wife. No more Jacoby not on base. No more suck.

So the stock market is tanking, the Dow Industrial is looking like the Tower Of Terror and every American family lent AIG $34,000. What I want to know is why is the iconic symbol of all of this economic chaos a picture of some asshole rubbing his eyes or covering his face in disbelief? The fucking market has been shitting the bed for two weeks and if anyone saw this shit coming its those pathetic jerks who can’t handle watching their millions fall apart.

And if the traders are freaking out this much then its their money they are watching fall with the markets. Perhaps the market wouldn’t have carried on with such reckless confidence if the first responders didn’t have such an invested interest in the first place. Don’t get high off your own supply people. Sure, their “seat” on the trading floor may cost them in excess of $100k a year, but when you are making an average of $600k, I don’t think many of them are complaining about the admission price. If I made 600k a year and worked in something as volatile as the stock market I think I would try and invest somewhere else with at least some of my money. Its like buidling an all glass and popcicle stick skyscraper on the fault line in San Fransisco. Fransiscccooo. Personally I think its all acting so that they can scoop up undervalued markets once average Joe Trader sells off his lot of Apple and GM.

The Red Sox may need another night to take care of the Angels. While the Phillies and Dodgers are out partying in their champagne goggles, the boys from Boston need to keep their eye on the prize and stay focused for game four. Jason Bay, who I know has some more Bay Bombs on tap, had a bad go on Sunday night since he hadn’t seen some of the pitchers he faced ever in his career. I’ll blame the loss on his lack of experience but expect business as usual on Monday.

I mean, I have no worries that they will bounce back, but when things hit extra innings after midnight and the camera starts panning the miserable faces of the Nation across the screen, I start to get that sick feeling in my stomach that somehow things will revert back to 2003, and the two World Series wins will be erased, and my eyes will go legally blind again.

I can’t say enough about VT after Saturday Night — probably because I screamed myself horse in support of the boys from a booth at Damon’s Grill located in State College, PA (one TV in a sea of PSU/Illiniois games). That win was significant for a couple reasons: 1, it is a regular season win outside of the ACC against a team with a large following and storied history that attracts attention in places outside of the East Coast, and 2, it moves our strength of schedule to 6th hardest in the nation. Well, we can only savor that 6th place for a short time since we will be playing our Homecoming game against Western Kentucky University…

I will once again admit I know nothing about this particular team, but they aren’t a very potent offense judging by their previous games this season. They did manage a blowout against Murray State (where Beamer learned to coach before VT, but is now the armpit of the Ohio Valley Conference) but the Hilltoppers have not scored more than one touchdown against Division 1A teams this season. They cough up around 1.5 turnovers a game and average just under 200 yards of total offense against their 1A opponents.

Perhaps most important to the WKU team is their mascot, Big Red. He is quite possibly the coolest sexless mascot out there. And if Big Red gets the football on Saturday afternoon there is no telling what the fuck will happen. I personally hope they put the red monster in for at least a few snaps, maybe cheer up the crowd. You see, unfortunately, things haven’t been going well in recent months for Big Red and new spouse, Tree Thing. And I hear Red may not make the trip to Blacksburg after warrants for “it’s” arrest were issued in connection with a child abduction. That subsequently caused publishers to remove a controversial sex tape from adult film market. I would love to see Big Red and Hokie Bird go at it though, if possible.

I hope that this can be a game in which Tyrod Taylor can continue to test out his fancy footwork but also develop a better grasp of the field. His scramble mistakes away from the first down marker on short 3rd downs need to be eliminated and he should work on improving his designed rush plays as there is little “fooling” going on when he is intends to rush rather than throw downfield. Regardless, Tyrod should go easy on the ankle and hand off the ball as much as he can and perhaps we can have a running back record more than 100 yards in a game for the first time this season. After ECU, I will not be going out and predicting an easy win, but I will expect WKU to be held to a single touchdown (if any at all). Score Prediction: Virginia Tech 42, Big Red 9