Chris Cooley put his penis on his blog. This dog escaped. People seem to be really upset at the collapse of Lehman Brothers (at the 45 second mark). The country is falling to shit and all we can do is be excited at the return of Entourage?  If that is the silver lining then we are all fucked and I’m moving to Grenada.

Not trying to get politico on anything but I refuse allow the party currently in power and more responsible for this crap economy/war/dancing with the stars bullshit to get away with another 4 years if McCain is elected. I could care less what the issues are in this election, I don’t care what either party is promising, even if they want to make rainbow machines that shower burritos and gold pussies from the sky - I just want the GOP to lose. Its much like how I could care less who is coaching or playing for Florida State, I just want them to lose for all the bullshit they have done in the past. If we are going to be duped in to believing that any change can come from either political party, at least let it be from the one that’s got a bunch of half-stoned, yuppie-educated assholes chanting “Fuck Fox News” and not the God-fearing, nest-egg cowering, gun bandit middle-class bitching like hell to believe that one day they too can be part of the elite group of white sleazebags they put in office. Any easy way to pass the sniff test for the two parties: which one would you rather get drunk with?

Admittedly, McCain seems to have his credentials in order and fits the bill for a “traditional” President and yes Sarah Palin is hot and I respect her for taking staunch viewpoints on sensitive issues. On the other hand, I don’t really think that Obama could lead a team of Lemmings past level 1, but at least the man can speak with a smooth and comfortable swagger we haven’t had since Slick Willy … and isn’t that what we are looking for? These days, America might as well be an incorporated business. Its run like a company, prospers like one, the leadership relies on countless numbers of experts and cabinet members, attorneys, analysts, and market research and the monetary bottom line is truly the most important issue of them all. Under that belief, what you need at the head of any successful corporation isn’t a war veteran, or a seasoned political professional, or even someone of superior intelligence or skill - you simply need someone who looks good and sells that company’s stock like its Duke & Duke buying up orange futures. You want that CEO to make investors, employees, and the whole world believe everything is fine and to buy up the buckets of shit that the company is selling. By that token, Barack is the equivilent of a black Steve Jobs and I think he can turn around AMRCA stock and take it from a struggling CCC rating to an AA just by making things look and sound pretty behind that presidential seal emblazoned podium.

Come election time I’ll probably write-in Powdered Toast Man and get my “I Voted” sticker just to get my free burrito (they better do that again this election) and then I’m packing my carry-on bag for Grenada and wishing everyone the best ’till 2012.