Okay, so the red shirt is off. Whoopidy doo. And we are playing Furman this week. I really don’t know anything whatsoever about Furman so instead I will pretend that the Hokies are playing something I know more about, Street Fighter II: The World Fighter.

I hope that the Hokies know that although the story centers around the brothers Ken and Ryu, both fighters suck and you should avoid wasting any time learning their similar moves and just run the ball up the middle. Next I will recommend the Hokies skip over that shithead Zangiff at center, he can’t jump for shit but he does make noises and spin his fists around like David Cylke, but rely on the red shirt Tyrod Taylor –if he’s our quarterback we need to stick with it and move on. Finally, Guile is a big queer but his slow moving sonic boom move really can monopolize the line and force opponents into uncomfortable parts of the field. His level is also very intimidating. The Hokies should play like crazy ass Chun Li so they can bounce off the walls, spreading the ball around the field and victory should be easy. Score prediction: Virginia Tech 41, Furman 10.