EA Sports recently released the “official” top 25 toughest stadiums to play in for 2008 and Virginia Tech’s Lane Stadium was ranked at number 9. Clearly there is no more definitive source than a video game publisher and nothing but concrete evidence to show we are the most dangerous place to play, but if we were to pick apart this ranking, you know- just for fuck’s sake, what would it show?

For starters if this official ranking takes our 2008 home schedule in to consideration I think we should be happy just to be in the top 10. Almost all the home games we have this year are likely to be noon game blowouts aired on Jefferson Pilot (no HD for that plasma). The existence of only one Thursday night home game doesn’t help the cause much. We do get a 3:30pm start against Georgia Tech which should allow for more alcohol to work its way in to the bloodstream of screaming fans but it will always be less than what is capable of a fully-inebriated Thursday night crowd. Also, I think our “Hokie Respect” campaign will be in its 7th year -continuing to render stadium souvenir cups completely worthless while encouraging fans to cheer on opponents as if they are handicap children and buy them Mill Mountain Gift Baskets. Lastly, we have added a “White Out” game to support literacy for children (and presumably adults) in Southwest Virginia. This is odd because first- white isn’t one of our colors and second- isn’t White Out used to erase words? None of these things help our “toughness” factor much.

ESPN once called Lane Stadium the SECOND scariest place to play (granted “scary” isn’t the same as “tough”… and yes it is too soon for whatever joke you think should follow this statement). Overall, Tech may be slipping in the stadium ranks due to a larger school-wide decline in College rankings. Princeton Review demoted Virginia Tech’s 2007 first place ranking for “Best Campus Food” to a barely palatable third in 2008- a year in which VT also slid off the “Best Party Schools” ranking and was left as a high seed in the “Students Pack The Stadiums” honors. But I guess we are holding on to our top vanity license plate ranking and we did come in third for most powerful super computer in the world. Now if only we could combine those accomplishments to our advantage and activate our own Skynet and use it to make robot destruction machines out of millions of VT license plates. I bet we’d really move up the toughest stadium list then… you hear that EA Sports? There better be a consideration for Roboplate Rex because the pain train is coming to town.