I know everyone in the world except me saw Dark Knight this weekend so don’t take personal offense if you truly enjoyed your 33 dollar trip to Regal Cinema to catch the non-sold out 11:07 showing. I’m sure you had a great time as apparently this film is the greatest piece of modern cinema every captured by man. Rotten Tomatoes gives it a 97% fresh rating with the only reviewers who disliked it coming from “Pink Is The New Blog” and the Detroit Gay Blade. IMDB also has weighed in, giving the film a #3 best of all time according to current voting:

I should point out that if that image above was larger you would find Wall-E at #19, which is 7 in front of the 1992 Best Picture/Director/Actor/Actress/Writer winner The Silence of the Lambs. Granted, IMDB has been known to make mistakes at the hands of its millions of middle school aged preteen users, just note Step Up 2’s glowing reviews for confirmation, but this is a tremendous rave for a movie that had a lot to live up to, including marketing tie-ins from BOTH Domino’s and Pizza Hut.

It may just be that good of a film. I don’t know, I haven’t seen it. I do know that Heath Ledger is dead - and people want to give him an Oscar now. It makes me wonder if Three Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Moutain would have warranted critical acclaim if Mathew Botuchis had overdosed in his trailer during filming (appologies to whichever reader still has his Tiger Beat mega poster taped to the side of their ferret’s cage).

I suppose I just look back at so many movies that people say were fucking awesome and then by the time they make it DVD I don’t see them scooping up copies to give out to friends at Christmas or renting to enjoy again and again. I REALLY want Dark Knight to be as good as everyone claims, at least as good as Batman and Robin… because I watched Batman Begins again on Friday (when Dark Knight was sold out for the midnight show) and it really wasn’t all that great like I remembered, well except for this.

Disclaimer: I will be seeing the Dark Knight in IMAX sometime soon.

UPDATE: Apparently I should apologize to all films, maybe even the entire art institution. “Hey Claude Monet - taste my bat cock!” (throws small bat-shaped graphite sphere at Sistine Chapel - explosion ensues) - and yes I’m aware that it was Donatello who painted that - and yes again I’m aware that it was Michaelangelo who painted that - you fuckers are no fun today