Dic Tailgate

Favorite Mannyisms

Friday 11 July 2008

	Seeing Manny hit his 500th homerun back in May may have increased my love for the man but did not rise to the impact of what he is willing to do outside of his regular skills in the game of baseball. With yesterday’s trip to the monster to make a phone call I can now rank my top 10 favorite Mannyisms, and complete a post that has been in the making for a while:

	10. No ticket for you. Manny got pissed because he wanted 16 tickets to a Sox-Astros day game and ended up getting none. He yelled and eventually shoved traveling secretary Jack McCormick over the odeal. Manny, whom he had sat out a Blue Jays spring training game in defense of McCormick and other staff and coaches for payment to travel to Japan apparently had no idea why he needed 16 tickets. McCormick apparently spat at Manny “You want 16 tickets?!? Have you seen your numbers over the last 16 games?!? Lugo’s in line for extras before you. Van Every and Varitek, too.” I think he just discovered Stub Hub. Manny Scale:

	9. Manny beats up on Youk. Angered by teammate Kevin Youkilis’ attitude, Manny bitch-slapped his first baseman in the dugout during a 7-1 routing of the Devil Rays. When the Sox were up by 6 runs, Youkilis had come back to the dugout after striking out and threw a mini temper tantrum tossing his bat and gloves at the wall. Manny took offense to the selfish outburst and told Youk he was not thinking about the team. Manny then asked to be traded and refused to wear pants on to the field. Manny Scale:

	8. Manny tries to sell his place. Attempting to show how serious he desired to be traded, Manny offered to sell his palatial 6-bedroom 4500 square-foot Boston penthouse apartment in the off-season and promised to include a 600-pound PEZ dispenser of his likeness. The apartment, which was asking $6.9 million, never sold. Manny Scale:

	7. Manny’s Ebay Auction. In attempt to help out a neighbor in the off-season Manny posted an ad on ebay under his seller name “Enter Name HereMANRAM” in which he sold a $4000 grill with the promise of including an autographed ball. Manny had been watching Video Professor’s “Guide to selling on eBay”. Manny also sells DirectBuy. Manny Scale:

	6. Personal Issues. Manny told Red Sox management he would be unable to make spring training start date four years ago citing personal family issues. In reality Manny needed to make it to a car auction. Manny Scale:

	5. High five fan. Manny decided it would be better to high five a fan than get the ball back in to second-base. The man has been looking for his wallet ever since. Manny Scale:

	4. Taking too long. Manny had been known to watch homers and jog at gingerly Prince Fielder pace (in reality Eric Byrnes takes longer than Manny to soak up dingers) but Manny also takes his sweet time when he thinks he’s hit a sure pop fly out. On three occasions, that I know of alone, a routine fly ball out ended up on the grass due to error. Twice Manny was thrown out at first, once he coasted in to second confused and was later picked off wandering on to third. Manny Scale:

	3. Manny came out wearing Trot Nixon’s pants. Though Manny rarely hustles for balls in left field it was particular constricting to see him come out one afternoon at Fenway considering he had on the wrong pants. Trot Nixon wears size 33 inch waist, 207 lbs and is 6 feet tall and many is a healthy 210lbs and 6 feet also but he NORMALLY wears a size 44 waist because he likes things baggy. To see him in tighty-whities was off putting but more importantly it forced Trot get a generic pair of pants from the equipment manager, he joked after the game that Manny kept the pants. Manny Scale:

	2. I found this in my pants. Manny retreated in to the Green Monster and popped out of a window intended for the score keeper to view the field. It appeared that Manny was on the phone during the pitching change, most likely attempting to see if he could still claim his free taco from the World Series. Manny Scale:

	1. Rockbottom Green Monster. Manny disappeared in to the Green Monster and did not emerge at the start of the next inning. As infielders took position, they looked around confused at the gap in left field. A smiling Manny stumbled out of the wall minutes later and punched his glove in expectation of the start of game play. After the game Manny admitted he was pissing in a cup he “had back there” and he really had to go, no courtesy wash was provided. Manny Scale:

Honorable Mentions: Wearing Oakley Thump MP3 headphones in outfield, bringing props on the field of play including a golf club, foam finger, and sign reading "Manny being Manny"