After a construction worker left a David Ortiz Red Sox jersey in the foundation of the new Yankee Stadium, Steinbrenner Inc. hired a construction crew for several hours at a cost of almost $50,000 to tear up cement to find the garment. New York State prosecutors stated that criminal action could not be pressed against J. Castingnoli (probably a Jew from Utah) despite his mischievous intent.

However, on Monday, Yankees management (who are so bent out of shape that they are licking their own asshole) said they will take civil action against the blue collar construction-working Sox fan. How there could be any cause of action is beyond me… I’m guessing they will try and say there was a legitimate financial harm created by the superstitious presence of a cotton cloth buried under hundreds of pounds of concrete and they HAD to dig it up as a result. I’m no lawyer but I’m thinking that there is no way to prove a present or future loss to the Yankees as a result of a shirt living deep in the ground- unless there was a good chance a Big Pappi tree would sprout up from the ground and start producing Krispy Kremes and stikeouts. It was the Yankees own damn fault they wanted to rip things up in what I believe turned in to great publicity stunt for the new stadium.

Putting the construction worker on the line for $50,000 hardly seems fair considering that’s what ARod makes to play a fucking children’s game for thirty minutes. What may be worse is that if the attempted curse has had any effect it appears that it would be on David Ortiz, whose jersey, number 34, was used in the burial. As a result it would seem Big Pappi is batting like a sugared up retard. Lets remember that the curse was reversed on 2004 and the burden lies on the Yankees now to find a way to fix it. Burying Bernie Williams may be their next hope to winning another World Series (thanks to Onion for bit).