Okay first off - Its November - which is after October. October stands for fall and Halloween which also stands for Pumpkin Spice Latte which is the foreplay for Gingerbread Latte which comes in November. So I am back to my point… It is November so the Gingerbread Latte is back at Starbucks. Its not like I am not a Starbucks superfan … honest… (by the way we’ll call it *bux from now on - its what I have it as in my phone) — but this drink is so good, so lipsmackidy fuck good, that I leave the empty cups laying around just to stink the place up. I think it must be like what the holy grail water tasted like in Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade - and that was so good that some crazy hot blonde chick jumped in to a never ending cavernous hole just to have more. Now if you go to your local *bux (remember were calling it that now) and they have some silly pumpkin chalk drawing on the menu board proclaiming that Pumpkin Spice is still the seasonal flavor, you grab that barista Jenny and tell her you know damn well they have the ingredients back there to make a Gingerhappygobreadyeslatte (with extra soy). They are simply hiding the precious until they deplete the stock of Hideandgofuckyourselfpumpkin juice. Trust me - they all got the goods on November 2nd. I have had 6 since that day, which was circled on my calendar.

We also know now that the Hostess Chocolate Pudding Pie has made a resurgence. This will probably only be for a limited time or at least until the first class action suits make it through the courts in the midwest from the millions of people who got so fat that they pressed power to watch My Name Is Earl - and it killed them.

But what else is back? The Pitas at Wendy’s you ask? Nooooo even better! The original Gumby’s ranch you say? Its even better than that my friends! Widemouth 40-ounce bottles? Okay that would kick more ass. But the McRib is back! I know, I know, I have fallen for the last 8 McDonald’s Farewell Tours of the McRib Sandwich - believing that it may be the last time I could enjoy meat that has been molded like play-dough to a red bone thing that looks like it came from Bonk’s Revenge. But what if this is the last time AGAIN!? You have to go out and eat as many as possible while there is still time! In fact you should skip the drink on the value meal and get a Gingerbread Latte with it as well. Dunk a pudding pie in to the latte and watch the walls melt in to a forest path, it will freak you out.

I’m going to get my fix now.